Here's my story.
Last summer my WW got addicted to playing a mobile online game that has a very heavy social component to it. As she dove deeper into this game, playing every evening, I would notice her giggling at conversations, all the while completely ignoring me when I wanted time with her.
Towards the end of September, she tells me that she is "no longer happy", and feels that we are more friends than lovers. I agreed that things had got a bit stagnant, but I figured that had a lot to do with having two young daughters, along with being together for 18+ years. I proposed we head to MC, and she reluctantly agreed.
A couple weeks later, I find a expedited passport receipt on the front seat of our car. Under it, a pair of passport applications for children. I immediately confronted her, asking if she was planning on going somewhere out of the country, and did she intend to take our girls?
Her: "There's a friend in our alliance that is moving to Europe, and he invited us out."
Me: "Us? So I can come too?"
Her: "Well, no, we can't afford for you to go...."
At this point I began to get really suspicious, so I asked if she is having, or intending to have an affair.
"No way," she promised.
A few days later, while she is at work (she works nights), I log into her iCloud account, and find picture after picture of her half naked. I find photos of some guy. I find screen captures of in game conversations between her and this guy where she basically said that she wants him, and cannot wait to meet him in England. The guy was reluctant, knowing that she had a family, but she basically said, "don't you think that I know what is at stake?"
I lost my shit. I began to forward her the images I found via text while she was at work. I raged on about how she destroyed our family and marriage. I started texting numbers of people in her game alliance, asking if they knew who this guy was (he was in their alliance as well). I joined the game *just* to contact this guy and tell him that I know, and how he was part of destroying our family.
From all this, the guy backs out of their relationship. I proceed to watch my WW cry for the next two weeks over her loss. Wonderful. Around this time we begin MC, and she basically declares that she doesn't believe any of this works, and is thinking about filing for D. While in MC I begin to try and fix everything, believing that all this was my fault. I was desperate.
After about of month of MC, she is adamant about getting a D, and has the paper work filled out, and even consults with an attorney. I'm a mess at this point. Fortunately, I began to take anti depressants, exercise, and find my own personal therapist. Things slowly get less shitty.
Christmas time comes around, and suddenly, she is interested in giving me another chance, as long as I do some specific things. She didn't like that I would drink (although she arguably drinks more than I do), so I stopped. She wanted me to take more initiative with planning nights out. Throughout this time she still is rather distant and cold with me. She recognizes that I had done nearly everything she had asked of me, but explained that "I'm just not in love with you. I cannot turn it on like a light switch."
It all came to a head on Christmas evening. I got home and sat on the computer. She immediately got her ipad and phone out to start playing the game. Now, what I did next could be considered unethical, but is not illegal. I work in IT, and so I know a thing or two about intercepting conversations. In this case, the in game chat from her game was being transmitted in plain text over our wifi......so I read it. On Christmas evening, she had a private conversation with some other alliance member, asking about how her xmas was. She explained that my gifts were fairly unimpressive, and that at least her parents got her some cool stuff."
Being a bit deviant, I immediately texted her: "Hey, how did you like the gifts I got you? I got the vibe that you were disappointed".
Her response: "No, I loved them!"
Minutes later, our youngest wakes up crying, so we converge to tend to her. After that, she gives me a big hug. We go back to our rooms (at this point I had moved into the spare bedroom). She continues to chat. I continue to snoop.
Her: "My husband just asked about my gifts."
Other person in game: "Wow. Did you tell him the truth?"
Her: "No! I'm not in love with him anymore, but I don't despise him."
For whatever reason, that one little exchange made me realize that she was never going to be serious about R, and that she was an addict. What I haven't mentioned is how frequently she plays this game. When I say morning, noon, and night, I mean it. She will wake up in the wee morning hours to login and play. There is a small group of these players that I noted are always on, and she told me they are considered some of her closest friends.
Eventually she realized that I was snooping on her conversations when I asked her if she got her internet boyfriend a christmas gift, as I saw her privately talking about it with him in chat. From there we fight, and we both come to the conclusion that it's over.
Now there is much more I could elaborate on, but you get the picture. She met a guy in this game last summer, began an EA, and made plans to visit him in January that I foiled. The way they talk to each other in this game is *very* sexual. The way she talks about me to everyone in that game is degrading and disrespectful. The decisions she had to make all along to walk away from our marriage for people on the internet, along with knowingly jeopardizing the emotional stability of my daughters just solidified things for me. She was no longer the woman I fell in love with. She was now a horrible monster.
We now make plans around our D, and have had conversations about custody and splitting our debts and assets. She has some unrealistic ideas about what I should be doing that would effectively bankrupt me, but I know enough that I don't have to agree to anything.
I now await notification of the D from her attorney.
That's my story. Thanks for reading this far.