Hi, D-Day January 20th, 2011 My WH and I are employed by a company in Ohio . He has 41 years of service in and I have 33 and a half years.
My WH and I both work in the same department under the same supervision. I was off of work from July 16, 2010 through January 31, 2011 due to my youngest daughter having a serious chronic illness and another daughter having a serious car accident which left her temporarily disabled.
I found out on January 19th, that my supervisor’s H had committed suicide because she had left him. Because my WH had NOT told me she left her H, a red flag went up and I checked our cell phone records and found that my WH had been having ongoing contact with our supervisor for over 3 months. She had now become the OW. Phone records are evidence of the phone calls and texting between them before, during and after work hours. Phone records also include records of calls placed to the direct line in the office of the supervisor. Guard assisted calls were also recorded to OW office. She had placed the first call and several others to my WH with me being unaware that she had his cell phone number, (which both have forgotten how SHE got it.) on Jun 13, 2010, the first weekend my daughter was hospitalized. As time went on I saw on the records that things really started to escalate towards the end of October. All calls and texts stopped the day I confronted them and they both told me they were “just friends“
I sent my WH cell phone in to digital forensics to retrieve texts messages and pictures shared between the two, because I felt I was being lied to about the numerous calls and texts. I should be receiving them this week or early next week. There were thousands of minutes of calls and hundreds of text within a 3 ½ month time period. My WS finally admitted it had been a "Romantic Affair". They told each other they 'LUVVVED EACH OTHER," BUT MIRACLE OF ALL MIRACLES HE REALIZED ON d-dAY, HE LOVED ME INSTEAD, NOT HER...lol! So do I really want to read those text messages? I told WH I did NOT want him around when I was reading them…I don’t know what my reaction will be.
When I confronted the OW about the facts she offered me $3000 to NOT send the phone in to retrieve the messages. I refused. So what is she hiding? They both claim they never met anywhere or were physical. Do I believe another lie? My WH hasn’t touched me for 4 ½ years. He says it’s Erectile Dysfunction. We both work 12 hrs. 6/7 days a week… No time for him to do anything extra, until the A started. Then he was gone every evening driving around to “talk” to somebody who cared about him. He claims he thought I didn’t care about him any more. Oh yes, Good one WH!
I had 8 years of ongoing issues with the OW and had 3 years previously confronted her about her asking my WS out for drinks to discuss company problems after hours, which she did in front of me, directing the invitation to WS with little to no regard for me. I, of course, was excluded from the invitation. I told WS to put a stop to it…He said “I don’t have a problem with it, you do, so you go tell her.” And I did! Upon confrontation she apologized and told me she would not do that anymore , that her H and her were very much in love…AND "OH I MUST APOLOGIZE TO YOUR SPOUSE" Is she stupid or what? I am the offended party and she cared more about him...No I am the stupid one:(. And how things change in a short time. Poor guy ( may god Forgive him and May he RIP) died in vain, if he only knew what his WW was really doing. And My WH thought I didn’t care about HIM anymore? Give me a break, Please..WHO Doesn't care about WHO?
I asked my WH several times throughout the last 8 years to stop letting OW share her personal life with him. He refused to stop. About 3 years ago a female employee filed a grievance against her for “favoring” my WS and letting things happen in our department that should not be happening. I was the only person not called into this investigation, reasons unknown to me. I had women approach me about the OW constant contact with my spouse and how it did not look proper. However I thought they were discussing work so did not look further into it.
OW also had a lawsuit brought up against her 7 years ago from a gentleman that worked here temporarily. I do not know what the charge was but I am aware that this man was being “sexual harassed by a couple of female temporary’s who would lift their tops up at him. I work in an above office and Jared would come up in tears that he did not know what to do. He had already told our supervisor and she refused to take action on his behalf.
OW tried to sit down and try to work out things out with me so we could have a more professional job situation, especially for my W, who is so stressed out, (seriously?) and she is so lost as what to do in the department cause he always did it all. After all they were “ Just Friends”. I told her to shut up, my WH already told how they had “fallen in love”. And "what is so professional about you" I asked. “I am a professional wedding decorator on the side and how professional would it be if I looked at the Groom to be and said “ Let’s get together for drinks and discuss what you need for your wedding day”. Real professional right?” NOT!
So OW has contact with my WH concerning work every day. I also have to deal one on one with the OW, who has asked me to “please not turn her in to Human Resources till her estate is settled.” Her H apparently did not leave her a will. She left work early a couple weeks ago and told my WS she needed to get her house appraised before "EVERYTHING BLOWS UP IN HER FACE AT WORK." Imagine what that would do to her image. I confronted her again and told her “Stop sharing personal things with my WH. I DO NOT want to go to Human Resources and turn you in” I do not feel comfortable with this work situation.
On 3-2-11, 6 weeks after D-day, my WH couldn't handle that I wanted to go to HR and report her plus the guilt that he hurt me and couldn't fix the hurt in 6 weeks so he went to HR, filed for his retirement pension, went home and packed his stuff and moved to mamas. What a line of bull.. He never filed to retire. He said I sent him one text message too many when I was upset that day he moved out. He moved back after 4 days under the pretense I had made too many bills , which I did when our daughter was ill and I was off work.WTH! What did he think, that me not working = his money stretching to cover everything. LOL!
So any way I told both cheaters I was not getting the texts now, so you can imagine their relief....untill I get them , read them and confront them again....My WH is actually trying with me but I am so hurt cause he just wants to forget it happened....How do I do that? Right, you can't. I am now going for IC and wanted him to go with me, but I know he won't say anything....So I am waiting for the text messages and waiting to see what was going on with him...Her I can hardly stand to look at. She has totally thinned out, has a flat @ss, saggy tatas and looks like a demon from hell. Ugh! And people at work do know what happened, or have sort of figured it out...Too bad for them both being idiots! Especially him....She was probably trying to make him husband # 6? So now I can not trust him for any reason. AND I TOLD HIM, " HOW DARE YOU MOVE OUT BECAUSE I WROTE ONE TEXT TOO MANY, AFTER YOU AND HER WROTE THOUSANDS TOO MANY. IF ANY ONE SHOULD MOVE OUT IT SHOULD BE ME."
Thank you for LETTING ME VENT! And yes, I am a fool because although I did not trust OW, I trusted WH with all my heart, mind and soul and I still love him…..and all that I feel is the betrayal of being double crossed….I cared about OW at one time and thought we respected each other….