Oh Just tired - good name, I remember that exhaustion! - I’m so sorry you are here. Your husband sounds like a very unsafe partner still despite having been ‘saved’. Given the number of ‘contacts’, I hope you have tested for stds. Please read the tactical primer and other posts in Just Found Out that have target symbols in the margin, which along with other articles in the Healing Library will help give you a road map so you don’t feel you are driving this road alone.
I’m afraid with your WH’s scale of infidelity, you will need rather more than his word to proceed with any sense of safety and trust in the relationship. There appears to have been no real investigation by either of you what was at root in his behaviour and until that becomes clearer, ie the drivers behind his behaviours, you do not have sufficient understanding of him or your feelings towards the real him, to proceed safely. There’s rather more to remorse than his current penances, and I hope he is digging deep to earn even the second chance you are currently giving him. Like you I believe in redemption, but with caveats. You sound very lovely, and forgiving, but try to look forward to understand what level of certainty you need, with and despite your trust in God, because your WH’s track record is currently very poor and you will have to live with degrees of uncertainty for some time. Or not
You are not alone. We understand how it feels to be betrayed. I’m sorry you had to experience it so young and so soon.
Edited to add, given it’s all so recent, you must be in great shock and your brain will be buzzing trying to understand all the implications for both your past and future life. Try to prioritise good self care now. Your brain cannot possibly process everything immediately so be patient, it’s a process, pace yourself and treat yourself gently and with great care. It sounds like you have good support systems but do post here when you need.
[This message edited by Edie at 9:53 PM, Thursday, May 25th]