I found out 3 weeks ago

Honestly I just need to talk to someone. I we have a couples counselor we are seeing twice a week. Back story I'm Christian my husband wasn't while we where dating. Got saved in March of this year. I also got married when I found out (5/4/23) that he wasn't exactly faithful while we where together. He told me during our premarital counseling that he had kissed a girl during the first few months of dating (a couple of months after we agreed to be exclusive). This was the week before we got married. A couple of days later he told me they had sex. I kind of figured he didn't love me at the beginning of the relationship. We almost broke up a lot during that first year. (I honestly don't know why we didn't.) He told me about meeting people online. I naively assumed it was also in the first 2 years of our relationship. (We have been together for 4 years) turns out that it was for the whole relationship. He only had 2 physical relationship with people but the last one he had was in 7/22. He had around 50 online explicit relationship. He was on 3 different dating apps. Any place to meet people. His last online relationships ended a week after he got saved. (He said he felt really convicted.) Which was like I said March of this year. He has been open and honest. He let's me go through his personal/work laptops and phone. He asked me to stay and try and work things out. I told him I will stay and work things out with him but if he ever does it again I'm out. He has been remorseful. He shares his location with me. He shows or tells me any interaction what they had conversations about he's had with females the day of. He has an accountability group he goes to once a month with our church. He knows it's still really raw and that I need time. He will sometimes walk in on me crying on the floor he knows he can't really touch me when I'm that way. He will just sit there with me and let me cry until I initiate physical contact (usually handholding) and by that time he's usually in tears to.) I don't like to cry in front of people but once I start it's really hard to stop until I'm done. All I can say right now is we are trying. I'm trusting God in this and that's all I really know right now.

5 comments posted: Friday, May 26th, 2023