So-currently divorcing my Narc STBXH, it's going to be long and drawn out event for sure.
Before the temp parenting plan, STBXH took my son for 7 weeks and refused to let me see or talk to him--when finally ordered to bring me my son initially STBXH told DS to act bad and throw things around which after speaking with my attorney he suggested to call the police--which did result in a police visit as well as the STBXH showing up--since we had no plan in place the police suggested STBXH just take my DS. Later that night STBXH filed a restraining order against me on behalf of my DS. His attorney was furious. 10 days later it was dismissed by STBXH.
Once the plan was in place, STBXH called and asked if I was going to "demand" DS come visit, I said YES. He said DS didn't love me and why would I call the police on him to traumatize him, I said I don;t need to call the police because if YOU don't comply you'll end up in contempt of court and possibly serve a few days of time.
When I FINALLY saw my DS he said to me "DAD told me to act bad that night--he said you would call him to get me & you wouldn't make me come back" I was literally heartbroken and furious! Also that night STBXH pulled DS into his room after I dropped him off to dinner and came out crying telling my DD who was there that "he was going to die"--I have no earthly idea what the hell is going on?!?! I do know that DS has witnessed tons of STBXH's cheating and STBXH knows I have the proof for our post-nuptial with infidelity clause so what the hell is he needing to keep my son under lock and key for? I'm sure that's why he moved out while I was out of town with my DD and took him.
Needless to say STBXH begrudgingly caved and we have been doing the 50/50 successfully for 6 weeks.
Here's my new concern (amoung many), we are currently on a temp parenting plan that's 50/50.My attorneys have advised due to the kids age that by next year they can chose to not 50/50 likely before the D is over BUT I have come to realize my STBXH is using my son as his "flying monkey" after listening to a conversation the other night.
STBXH said the following to my DS 14:
Did anyone talk about me at Easter? DS replied NO-STBXH said, "I'm sure you wouldn't tell me anyways"
Did you tell your mom you wanted grilled chicken haha (STBXH knew my grill flew into my pool the other day) DS said NO.
Did they wait for you kids to come over before they ate Easter dinner? DS said YES--STBXH said "well I'm surprised"
Are you going to play football this year? DS said NO-he wanted to play soccer--STBXH said he wanted a DNA test since a son of his would want to play football.
The conversation before that included this gem "I saw your mom's Facebook photos of you both on Spring Break--you looked like you had fun..DS said nothing--STBXH says "well that's really great for you now isn't it" an proceeded to hang up on my DS 14.
Please keep in mind that there is ZERO co-parenting happening here--STBXH and I do not speak and although I've sen t many emails concerning the kids I have received ZERO response EVER.
AND my DS is very peppery towards me on a lot of occasions with I rebuff and tell him I will not tolerate any disrespect.
He is with a therapist through school about to go to a better therapist shortly but DS is not really talking about what STBXH is telling him.
I'm going to try and tape any conversations I can but this is beyond insane--my DS is very fearful of my STBXH and if my DS would speak up I'm sure I would get full custody. My attorneys think since 50/50 is so favored right now in the courts and the kids ages 14 & 15 it's worthless without a huge issue.
Ideas-insight--much needed and appreciated. CT
[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 4:20 PM, Friday, April 14th]