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Newest Member: PowerWithin

Just Found Out :
The Lies just keep popping up

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Faithfinder (original poster member #79750) posted at 3:24 AM on Thursday, January 13th, 2022

Western, no she is not married. She is now 27 and lives with 2 male roommates, both in their 20s (WH is 50). 1 is gay and 1 is as my WH says "someone I am not worried about". It sucks that she has pictures on Facebook my 2 oldest kids- 16 and 13 looked her up and so their picture tighter. She has no heart and neither does he. He stops in my home, which I fortunately lives in until I can file for temporary use, until she is ready for him to go up to her apartment.

He spends NO time with our 3 kids. I thought this was a midlife crisis and it still could be but it’s horrible. He acts all nice when he is at my house. He complains about his new job ( same place as her) all the time. I can’t stomach him and I keep it civil for the kids. I am now no longer acting like his friend and try to be indifferent with him. To get engage before i has even served him papers is insane. I am not sure I eve hear d that before! That is why I think she is pregnant.

Maybe in his mind our marriage was over before it was. I don’t think I can ever come back from this. I am moving forward as if we are a family of 4 instead of 5. He is so out of touch with his family. He does not talk to his parents or siblings. Only by text, if they text him first or if he needs something. I am pretty sure his mom has covid and is not doing well. His sister (the only one in his family to know about his A), texted home to call his mom. So far nothing yet. She wants me to have him call but I know he won’t. He told me 2 months ago if his parents died, he would not go home for the funeral. They used to be close. Since the A, he now brings up all the bad shit from his childhood and does not want them included in the new chapter of his life.

It’s so sad watching him go down the rabbit hole for his 26/27 year old home wrecker. But he did this to himself.

Me: BW- 45
Him: WH - 50
AP -26, coworker
DDay10/3/2021, now engaged to OW 01/01/22
Married 17 years, together 21 years
3 kids
served separation papers 1/22

posts: 56   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2022
id 8709442
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Riverz ( member #79713) posted at 5:51 AM on Thursday, January 13th, 2022

Omg, FF, I’m so very sorry for what you are being put through!! It’s absolutely inhumane!

You and your children deserve better... HE IS A COMPLETE DISGRACE.

You are bravely doing all the right things to protect you and your precious babies...EFF HIM.

Sending you many (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

posts: 130   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2021   ·   location: Canada
id 8709464
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 6:20 AM on Thursday, January 13th, 2022

It blows my mind how delusional they can be, but all you can do is introduce REALITY and hope that at some point the fantasy bubble bursts. You've stopped being nice to him. That's good. I wouldn't sugarcoat the future for him at all. He needs to understand that after you've had to divorce him for being a cheating asshat, you're not going to be his friend, have him in your life or in your home, and that it will be HIS responsibility to repair his relationship with his children, not yours. And that's IF they will have any interest in continuing a relationship with him. They might not.

You're doing really well so far. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving on with your life. If your WH can pull his head out of his hindquarters before you've divorced him, great. If not, you're that much closer to a cheater-free life.

((big hugs))

BW: 2004(online EAs),
2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 38 years;
in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 5451   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8709473
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 Faithfinder (original poster member #79750) posted at 9:44 PM on Thursday, January 13th, 2022

Amen to that! You all have been so wonderful with your advices and support. I am SO glad I found this site. It’s so unbelievable how often this happens. My kids and I will be great but it’s such a long journey. While Dday was only a little over 4 months ago, it feels soooo much longer. No one deserves this kind of heart ache and betrayal!

Me: BW- 45
Him: WH - 50
AP -26, coworker
DDay10/3/2021, now engaged to OW 01/01/22
Married 17 years, together 21 years
3 kids
served separation papers 1/22

posts: 56   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2022
id 8709629
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Disillusioned2 ( new member #79738) posted at 1:02 AM on Friday, January 14th, 2022

I am so so sorry that you are going through this! I find it so disgusting and pathetic when I see an 50 or 50+ man with a very young woman like that. Your WH is a pathetic old fool and when he is 75 and she is 51, you can bet she'll be looking elsewhere (if they even make it that long). Unfortunately, my WH is a pathetic old fool also. Still trying to figure out to do with my own mess but I feel for you.

BW, 30 year marriage as of D-day on 5/8/2021, Trying to reconcile but need to figure out how to get past pain and anger.

posts: 10   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2022   ·   location: PA
id 8709690
Topic is Sleeping.
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