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I Can Relate :
Support Through Prayer ...Part 3

Topic is Sleeping.
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BrokenheartedWif ( member #40955) posted at 5:46 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2016

((Virginia))

I believe that this scripture is referring to asking in Jesus name for things that are in the will of the Father and His desires for us.

Paul In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 prayed for the thorn to be removed, but God told him that His grace was sufficient for Paul.

God wants us at the end of ourselves and our strength so we are completely dependent on God and seek His will for our lives.

Phil. 4:6-7

God also gave each of us free will and we humans can use it to give ourselves and our will over to Jesus and take upon our shoulders His yoke; or we can choose to remain isolated from God and selfishly seek our own desires, etc.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7625080
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 6:00 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2016

Really good, thoughtful post, blakesteele.

I don't know the answer to your question regarding prayer, VirginiaRegret. I was hoping others would chime in and help clarify to me, too. Looking forward to what hopefull77 finds out. Thanks, Brokenhearted, that helps.

Strength and prayers to all.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7625097
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StandswithFist ( member #50531) posted at 8:43 PM on Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

I'm requesting prayer and support.

We are at the one-year point and I'm in a spiraling depression. I really think this is a spiritual crisis on my part. I desperately want and need God. I'm praying, reading the Bible. I think Satan is fighting for my very life.

I've been faking "living" forever. I can paste the fake smile, entertain... but all the while dying inside. I can't act anymore. I'm falling apart ... anxiety, depression, despair. These feelings have been present a long time (since teen years at least). I self-medicated, ignored, stuffed, but it's all coming to the surface now.

Please pray for my deliverance from this torment. I'm on the edge, slipping over the side into the darkness, the pit of hell.

I long to rest in God's arms and to completely open my heart and soul to God's grace and mercy.

BS (me): 60's
WS (him): 60's
Married: 30+ years
D-Day #1: 2004 (EA x 2), D-Day#2: 8/15
Reconciled: 3+ years

posts: 171   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2015   ·   location: Truth or Consequences
id 7629508
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VirginiaRegret ( member #48955) posted at 3:24 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

Standswithfist - your post resonated with me. I had so many of the same thoughts and feelings. I also thought I was in a spiritual battle. And yes I was, but I also was in another battle, a medical one. Have you seen a doctor for your depression and anxiety? Being diagnosed (bipolar) and medicated has changed my life. It's improved it all around and improved my spiritual relationship. If you haven't yet, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist, especially since you've been dealing with it dor so long. Prayers!

Me: MH
Him: MH

posts: 521   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 7629845
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 4:03 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

StandswithFist, my prayers are with you. Prayers for strength, for peace, for God's healing presence in your life and for you to feel that presence. He is there for you.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7629866
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PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 2:17 PM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

Praying for you StandswithFist! What's important is that you have the desire to feel God's love and presence. You are turning your heart to Him and as steadychevy said He is there!

You are not alone. Right after dday, I had the opportunity to be staying near a beautiful river walk lined with big trees. Everyday I walked and sat on the banks of the river sobbing as I tried to figure out what to do. I longed for God to lift me up out of the chaos. Between crying spells I started to really look at the flowing river, rocks and trees and I could feel His peace and love for me. Little by little I realized He was there.

I am praying for you to see and feel something around you today that will give you comfort and peace, even just a bit. Keep praying and just pour your heart out to our God who loves us beyond anything we can imagine!

God bless you!

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled

posts: 747   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 7630113
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wowme ( member #48431) posted at 8:32 PM on Friday, August 12th, 2016

oh pinkjeeplady i read your post and i imagined the rock the rolling river and i went there too. i had a sense of peace just from reading your post. i know you were referring to someone else but thank you

You're grieving the M you thought you had, or you wished you had, or hoped you had and it turned out not to be. This sh*t is hard.

posts: 338   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2015   ·   location: usa
id 7632801
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wowme ( member #48431) posted at 8:36 PM on Friday, August 12th, 2016

standingwithfist the other day i was listening to the radio and the program teacher was talking about being in a spiritual famine. maybe that is where you are. that is where i have been.

he gave this scripture that helped me john 7:38

38To the one who believes in Me, it is just as the Scripture has said: ‘Streams of living water’” will flow from within him. 39He was speaking about the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive. For the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet been glorified.…

i added verse 39 because it is the spirit of God if we hunger and thirst for righteousness we will be filled.

you are filled the enemy- satan wants you to disbelieve the spirit of God that is within you.

sending love

You're grieving the M you thought you had, or you wished you had, or hoped you had and it turned out not to be. This sh*t is hard.

posts: 338   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2015   ·   location: usa
id 7632811
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VirginiaRegret ( member #48955) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, August 12th, 2016

Well I did it. Made an appointment with a lawyer. I thought for sure that some way some how God was going to heal my marriage. I know for the past year I was where I was supposed to be but over the last few months, it's been becoming more clear that it's time to act. In the last couple weeks, the story of Abraham and Isaac has come to me in different ways. I firmly believe when you are receiving the same message from different places, it's something you should sit with and pay attention to. For most of my life I've thought my happiness lay in my relationship, I was looking for fulfillment through it. Of course that's impossible, no person can ever fulfill us or meet all our needs. Jesus is the only one who can do that.

My marriage has been my idol. I've been 100% focused on it. If only my marriage were healed, I'd be happy. I know God is asking me to give this to him. To hand it over, give him control and let go. And maybe, like Isaac, he'll restore it. But there's a good chance He won't and my 20 year relationship is coming to a close. I don't know. It seems crazy and wrong and yet I'm convinced this is the road He's leading me down... well, some times I'm sure. Other times I wonder what the hell I'm doing, this couldn't possibly be what he's asking me to do.

Would appreciate prayers. For myself, my husband, and my children as we try to navigate through this difficult time. I hope we can find some kind of peace in it all.

Me: MH
Him: MH

posts: 521   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 7632901
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 9:46 PM on Sunday, August 14th, 2016

Here is a worthwhile read I wanted to share ....

Soul-Chained to Things Beyond Us

By Father Ron Rolheiser

July 1, 2007

In his novel, Clowns of God, Morris West suggests that there are deep reasons why we are so incurably restless: “The fact is that we live only in communion – not only with our present, but with the past and future as well. We are haunted by a whole poetry of living, by lullabies half-remembered and sounds of train whistles in the night and the scent of lavender in a summer garden. We are haunted by grief, too, and fear, and images of childhood terror and the macabre dissolution of age.”

Living, at least living with a certain restfulness and peace of soul, is not as simple as we think. We shouldn’t be so surprised at our perpetual disquiet and pathological restlessness for we are haunted, as West puts it, by a whole poetry of living that doesn’t allow us to be easily inside the present moment. Too many things that have nothing to do with the present moment constantly invade our consciousness. We are, in the words of Toni Morrison, “soul-chained” to things beyond us. Our hearts sense things, remember things, and connect to things in ways that we do not necessarily want and these half-remembered, half-thought, and half-felt feelings forever keep us from being comfortably inside our own skins. They bring the past and future into our present and they chain our hearts to worlds beyond us.

We feel this most clearly and painfully whenever we suffer a heartache or an obsession for someone we love but can’t have. Whenever that happens, as we know, the ache in our hearts makes for a heaviness, an emptiness, and a restlessness that robs us of virtually all of the joy we might experience at a given moment. There are so many times when we have every practical reason to be happy and content, but, because of a heartache, simply cannot give ourselves over to the moment or be content inside of its simple joys. Our heartache, coming from somewhere beyond, colors everything with its restlessness.

And it isn’t just romantic heartaches that do that to us. We suffer through obsessions of all kinds. Memories, regrets, hurts, intuitions, nostalgia, and daydreams of all sorts, are forever impaling themselves inside of us and leaving us deeply restless. Karl Jung once said that energy isn’t always friendly. Whenever we have a heartache, a regret, or an obsession that spoils our day and leaves us too restless to sleep at night we experience what he meant.

This is both good and bad: Some of the things we are chained to produce pain and restlessness in ways that rob us of sunshine, freedom, and sleep. Often, when we are restless, the thoughts and feelings that have invaded us are unwanted. We wish we could be free of them in order to enjoy our lives, without these thoughts and feelings roaming around inside of us like ghosts inside a haunted house. But, painful as this can be, we really wouldn’t want the opposite.

If we could ever be content simply with the pleasures contained in a given moment, like a contented animal munching grass in the sun, we would, by that same token, reduce ourselves from human to animal. What makes our souls different from the souls of animals is precisely the fact that our souls are infinite in their depth, infinite in their yearnings, and therefore infinite too in the realities to which they are chained. Our restlessness is, in fact, a sign of our humanity.

Sometimes of course this wears us down and we get to so weary and tired that we want only to numb ourselves against those things that over-stimulate our souls from beyond. This numbing ourselves to depth can be healthy for a while, as a convalescent space, but in the end we need to be haunted from beyond. The ghosts that haunt us bring with them depth, spirit, and meaning.

Morris West tells us that we are always haunted by things beyond us, but he adds: “I am sure that it is in this domain of our daily dreaming that the Holy Spirit establishes his own communion with us. This is how the gift is given which we call grace: the sudden illumination, the sharp regret that leads to penitence or forgiveness, the opening of the heart to the risk of love.”

What haunts us from beyond is also what drives us beyond simple, animal, satisfaction and opens us to other worlds.

In her novel, Love, Nobel-prize winning novelist, Toni Morrison describes a young boy who is falling rather hopelessly in love with a woman who is incapable of reciprocating that love. This, she suggests, will surely lead to heartbreak and ruin: “God help the boy,” she laments, “if he got soul-chained to a woman he couldn’t trust.”

We all know the pain and heartbreak of that! But the reverse is probably worse: God help any of us if we become so dulled, calloused, or self-protective that we are no longer soul-chained to worlds beyond us.”

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7634238
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BrokenheartedWif ( member #40955) posted at 1:32 AM on Monday, August 15th, 2016

In her novel, Love, Nobel-prize winning novelist, Toni Morrison describes a young boy who is falling rather hopelessly in love with a woman who is incapable of reciprocating that love. This, she suggests, will surely lead to heartbreak and ruin: “God help the boy,” she laments, “if he got soul-chained to a woman he couldn’t trust.”

We all know the pain and heartbreak of that! But the reverse is probably worse: God help any of us if we become so dulled, calloused, or self-protective that we are no longer soul-chained to worlds beyond us.”

Thanks hopeful77. Not becoming so protective of our hearts following being betrayed let alone long term adultery is a big challenge.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7634385
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 5:17 AM on Monday, August 15th, 2016

Brokenheartedwife....

I agree with you!!! I like many others never thought my FWH untrustworthy...this has been one heck of a journey....I know that having faith in God has helped me through the lonliness of trying to survive something that really did not need to happen...

Peace and know God never abandons any of His children

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7634516
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StandswithFist ( member #50531) posted at 3:20 PM on Monday, August 15th, 2016

Thanks for the support everyone.

I'm feeling a bit better, having made it past the one-year point (I don't want to call it an anniversary or anything like that) without a major meltdown. I'm seeing glimmers of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel.

I do still strongly feel I'm in a spiritual crisis of some sort; longing to trust God completely, let go and feel safe and loved. I feel lots of change coming from inside and out. I'm afraid, but know I have to work through it, not run from it.

Please continue to pray for me -- that God fills me with His Love, His Grace, His courage to continue to fight for my life, sanity and marriage.

BS (me): 60's
WS (him): 60's
Married: 30+ years
D-Day #1: 2004 (EA x 2), D-Day#2: 8/15
Reconciled: 3+ years

posts: 171   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2015   ·   location: Truth or Consequences
id 7634742
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 3:44 PM on Monday, August 15th, 2016

Standswithfist...4 months after dday I read a book that started me on my spiritual journey...RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON. by Henri Nowen....

I always thought God had bigger problems to solve then mine! Boy was I naive!

God is in all of us...

Peace

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7634770
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 1:33 AM on Thursday, August 18th, 2016

VirginiaRegret,

Know that the lord loves you and has your best interests at heart. My prayers are with you.

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7637181
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 9:16 PM on Tuesday, August 23rd, 2016

Trust and risk: Trust in love where you can, and where you cannot trust, risk. There is something that has seen you through thus far, and its goodness is worth risking. In risking, trust grows. In trusting, faith is given. In faith, all things are possible--more than we could ever hope or imagine.

--Gerald May, The Awakened Heart

Don't any of you let this trial serve as evidence why you don't try for love. You need not throw caution to the wind, don't take this as "stay with your spouse regardless of anything" but do not let fear control you.

HAVE fear...just don't let it have you.

For 30 years I let fear be THE motivating factor in my patterns of living.....F that and the horse it rode in on. smile.

God gives us a spirit....Power, Love and Self-discipline. Nowhere in the Spirit of God is "fear" listed. Fear is of satan not of God. Yes, God gave us all the emotions we feel....but it guides us to have them and not let them have you. We are MORE than we feel....thank God!

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 7642046
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 9:23 PM on Tuesday, August 23rd, 2016

Standswithfist...4 months after dday I read a book that started me on my spiritual journey...RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON. by Henri Nowen....

BrokenhrtWF....that is a GREAT READ!!!!

I read it too. I figured I was the prodigal son BEFORE I read that book. Certainly I can relate to some of the P Son's journey, but the book opened my eyes to far more than I expected.....particularly how the elder, responsible son led his life. Yeah...its good to be responsible, but the bitterness and resentment expressed in this parable is what I really resonated with.

HOW DARE MY WIFE CHEAT ON ME!!!

Was sorely tempted to run hog wild after DD too....and much of that was hidden and buried bitterness and resentment over what I DIDN'T do in my life. And that didn't mean run women and gamble in Vegas....but it did highlight how I chose "safety" and "security" over "passion" and "desire".

I see NOW that an integrated life allows for ALL of that, and more, to come together into a complete...right-here right-now presence.

As i concluded the book I wondered if God's intent isn't to grow me into the elder of this story......to uncover the more whole man he knows is in me.

As broken as I felt 4 years ago....i feel strangely more complete now. But in a peaceful way I also see how very incomplete I am as a man...............and feel strangely okay with that.

Yeah.....I can't explain it better.

But things like being a Dad. I used to think I had to have it all figured out and perfected before I would be good at it. I have come to realize that I am usually a few steps ahead of where my girls need me to be and when I stumble and come up short, I trust God will catch their hearts when I hurt them or miss that they have been hurt.

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 7642052
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BrokenheartedWif ( member #40955) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, August 24th, 2016

Thx Blakesteel

I've ordered the bk.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7642718
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sleeplessincali ( member #50650) posted at 6:05 PM on Friday, September 2nd, 2016

I want to encourage every one to continually lift your spouses and your self up in prayer. To not fight with your spouse but fight the real enemy. the one that comes to steal, kill and destroy.

I received some clarity in this area these last 10 months after watching "War Room" I have been praying healing forward and praying for breakthrough concerning the truth that was hidden. My prayers are continually being answered and with daily devotions and prayer I feel like I am hearing from God.

Pray against the thing that come to rob you of your joy. Do not accept fear or doubt and concentrate on how God wants to heal you and your spouses.

That is all really. Just wanted to encourage you all to stay in prayer continually. Write out your prayers and Thank God when he answers them.

Me:BS/SAHM DDAY Oct 31 2015
Him:A mess but getting better

Change is not easy, but growth demands it.

posts: 346   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2015
id 7651071
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:17 PM on Friday, September 2nd, 2016

Good advice, sleepless. I have purchased the War Room (along with a dozen other movies like God Is Not Dead, Faith like Potatoes, Facing the Giants and more) but haven't watched yet. Better get at it.

Thanks.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7651341
Topic is Sleeping.
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