SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Therapy went well. I cried the whole time. She pointed out things id never considered. And she asked me one question that really made me think and sad. She asked me if I knew I deserved better. The obvious answer would be YES, but when I thought about it and didn't just respond, I realized I didnt. This is all ive ever known. I figured it was normal. She assured me it was not and that there were men that would treat me with respect beyond not cheating. She said there would be men that would value my contributions all the time and not just when it made them look like the supportive husband. I couldnt believe that I really didnt KNOW and FEEL that I deserved better. She also said it sounded like he may be intimidated by me (Ive actually felt this way for a while)because of my education and just overall knowledge and abilities (he has one semester of college....but that has never once been an issue of mine and ive never once even considered it a problem) . Im handy and love to learn. I even learn about all of his favorite sports teams so I would be able to keep up the conversation with him and his friends when we would do stuff. Im not afraid of a physical or mental challenge. For example, a few weeks ago we had to pick up lumber to redo my moms deck (which I did by myself while he ran "errands"). The truck we borrowed was not sufficient but we had to figure it out. He punches a board in the middle of the Lowes parking lot. I took the twine and figured it out. Just like I said we would. I think thats the stuff that makes him uncomfortable. Im the type of woman that doesnt NEED a husband but I WANT a husband and he started to lose his value to me. Between the cheating and his inability to complete simple tasks without expecting a parade, it just wasnt reinforcing to me. It was very much a situation where "I'll do it myself" because if he did it, he would complain, find a reason to not do it, or find a reason to not finish it. I also knew that once I graduated, I would need to make MORE than him to justify all the time I put into my degree. And until then I would need to do MORE at home since he was making more money. Everything I did was so that I could be his equal and his partner. But im realizing that he would have never seen me as equal or enough bc he would always find an excuse to justify cheating. I would work too much, im not making enough, I can imagine eventually it would become "you make more than i do and I just felt worthless so I cheated to feel better" or some crazy excuse. Moral of the story is that cheaters will always find a reason to cheat. I do deserve better.

Sounds like an amazing first session Elle! Keep focusing on that. On your worth, your happiness, your future.

Cheering you on here. And applauding.

You DO deserve better.