SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

(sorry wrong thread)

[This message edited by NukeZombie at 11:20 PM, Wednesday, March 6th]

Honestly guys Ive realized thay Ive had enough. This isnt going to work. Im sick of being her doormat.Im sick of being her safety net bill payer while she fucks other guys. I know the "why". She was a fat girl that lost 150 lbs now shes a skinny blonde super whore. I dont even recognize this person it sure as hell is not my wife. Shes gone. Shes dead. Thats how I have to look at it. My son whos 13 and is loyal to me hates her for whats shes done. He is going with me when I leave he was living in the hotel with me when I left. We can stay with relatives until we figure out housing. My son is a great athlete and is a baseball star. I am an assistant coach on his team. Im going to focus on that and my job. Ill eventually find someone who treats me like a human being. Im a good person and I deserve better than this!! Fuck her..

Always value yourself. Very sorry you have been put in this position. Good luck moving forward with D. You have two children correct? Are you going to obtain shared custody with the second child? That child will also need a steady influence if your WW is going to be bringing home different men all of the time. Just a thought. Good luck.

My daughter who is 8 is attatched to her at the hip so my son is coming with me and she is staying with her. It sucks and Im terrified especially if she brings the parking lot pervert to spend The night im sure he'll have his eye on my daughter. He is a creepy mother fucker like the kind of guy who hangs out at the adult bookstore. I cant look myself in the mirror and stay with this sorry excuse of a woman. I mean who besides a hooker does dildo car dates. I think a hooker would have more self respect than my wife did. Ill have to keep a close eye on her. Its s tough situation but I cant go on like this.

Good luck Toby73! I'm glad you are standing up for yourself. Get a good lawyer first!

So I hope you understand that first of all, the counsellor you both are using has to go. He or she is no friend of the marriage and is talking absolute shit.

Secondly you need to expose to any other halves involved - including your wife sister's husband. You need to bring down this vile behaviour.

Third you need to file on the grounds of adultry even if you live in a no-fault area. You need to cite the behaviour of the creep and not want your daughter around him. It is well worth fighting for so don't abandon your daughter saying that they are stuck at the hip. If your daughter wants to remain with her, the creep has to stay away.

And finally, you need to get yourself away from this shit. Asap.

Nothing more satisfying than taking out the trash.

I packed my stuff and have been living in a hotel.

This really struck me. WHY ON EARTH did you not pack HER STUFF and asked her to leave?? Helloooo! She is the one who has to go.

Molly:

This really struck me. WHY ON EARTH did you not pack HER STUFF and asked her to leave?? Helloooo! She is the one who has to go.

I was looking for the day I agreed with Molly on something, anything, and today is it! 100% agree here.

Way too early for MC... she (and you) need individual counseling. Your wife needs to work on her issues which are many-- not only the affair related issues but also her conflict avoidance personality and narcissism. You will need a bit of therapy to deal with the betrayal, mind movies and dealing appropriately with anger issues. It appears you've reached the anger stage, this is good. Use your anger to focus on what you want, and to keep moving forward. Have you been going to the gym? Hit the weights and add some cardio-- hitting the heavy bag, jogging, etc. helps to manage and release the anger and stress that will build up through the day as you constantly think about what your wife did.

I agree with the others. It's your wife that needs to leave the house. Not only does she have family to go to but she can also stay at her boyfriend's house. Tell her she and him can finally have room and not be confined to the family minivan for their acts. Obviously, your daughter stays with you and not at the boyfriends.

I don't see where you've stated whether you've consulted with any attorneys yet. You need to do so, google family law/divorce attorney in your area.... read reviews but take the reviews with a grain of salt, its better if you have a friend(s) that have been through a divorce and they can tell you about their attornies, hell they may tell you to use their former spouse's attorney if they were impressed with them. Consult with more than one (good) attorney so you can conflict out the good attorneys from representing your wife.

With multiple children you need legal advice, fast. Some basic questions you need answered-- is your state a no-fault divorce state, does your state recognize community property, does your state have alimony or marital support (for how long? You just passed 20 years in marriage you may be SOL in some states), does adultery matter in divorce (either in division of property/alimony or speed of divorce), child support and if children are separated how does that affect child support, does your state allow for morality provisions in the decree to prohibit a spouse from having a romantic partner stay overnight while the children are present...that's just the tip of the iceberg but you need this information.

Get to lawyer shopping Toby, protect yourself.

WHY ON EARTH did you not pack HER STUFF and asked her to leave??

Legally, he can not make her leave the house. There are laws in this country. You can't force a person from their home.

He probably knew that,and also knew he couldn't live another day with her, so he left.

OP..you should try to get custody of your daughter. Your wife has been engaging in selfish,dangerous behavior. Your daughter needs your protection. It really doesn't matter if she is close to her mom. She can remain close, and live with you.

She'll be mine soon. I'm already tearing that pussy up. She said she wasn't even happy with you in the pic standing next to you! And now you think your buff mother fucker in your Facebook pic. And watch how you talk to her she told me about the other day! Me and her go way back she never liked you!

So I got this text this morning when I got up. The fun never ends I swear. I tried to do a reverse lookup but nothing. Im sure its a burner phone/ghost number. The wife says she knows nothing and isnt still talking to anyone. She is seriously a sick person. I really dont care anymore Im numb to it. I would like to get proof of who it is though so I can go to the police for harrasment. This isnt the first text like this ive gotten. Usually different numbers/area codes. If anyone could help get info on the number I would appreciate it.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:12 PM, Saturday, March 9th]

Change your number. I am pretty sure the mods will delete that number. I will see if I can find anything. But it's probably a textnow number,or similar.

If she isn't still seeing him, she now knows, beyond a doubt, that she meant nothing to him. Anyone who cared for her wouldn't be trying to make her life worse.

Eta..I did a search on the number,using my 3 favorite, most reliable sources..it says there is no owner with that number. It's most likely textnow, which would be impossible to prove it's him.

[This message edited by HellFire at 11:13 PM, Thursday, March 7th]

She'll be mine soon.

I know it hurts, but this is actually good news. Someone else wants a liar and a cheater all because they go way back and he is tearing that pussy up. Who gives a fuck. "She'll be mine soon." Good. Great. A narcissist (according to you) who fucks around on her longtime husband just because she lost some weight and then gaslights you for it while her sister eggs her on. And he not only wants that type of person to be his but also sends you that type of message to antagonize you from a burner phone? He has as many mental problems as she does. They deserve each other. Good riddance. There is plenty of trash hanging out together at the landfill. Let them have each other. You deserve better. Way better. Focus on you and your health and your healing and your kids. Stay as far away from this toxic dump as possible and work on moving forward. It sucks but we are all on this website because of having to go through shit like this that guts you and devastates you and messes you up. But we also survive to live another day and choose to make forward progress on living the best life possible. Good luck to you man.

This is not a random person. You did not get that call for no reason.

She is obviously still talking to someone.

Don’t drag your feet anymore.

Get an attorney immediately.

File immediately.

Tell the sisters husband immediately.

She is not your friend. She is gone.

Your gut instincts are correct.

Move quickly.

If she breaks down to full submission you can post again but unless that happens you move on.

There is no negotiation with her right now.

Don’t do the bullshit marriage counseling.

I could go into a long explanation about marriage counseling problems but there are a lot of them being trained either in old religious thinking or new Ester Perel open marriages, leave good marriages (not kidding) let’s cheat, never tell anyone no or enforce any boundaries thinking.

If she submits then you can shop around for a good one.

MC are like any other industry. There are good ones and bad ones.

I’m so sorry. You did not deserve this.

One last thing. It is extremely common for a wife to lose a bunch of weight and start cheating.

Yes it is.

Also common for them to have a traumatic experience like the death of a loved one or a serious illnesses.

Those are very common factors.

She’s gotten a taste of excitement and she wants more.

Now also the pain she’s caused at home makes things harder so the excitement she experiences will be even more intense.

She is now thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Let her go find it.

Right now in this state the grass will definitely be greener for you.

You can’t fight this. Let her go.

Legally, he can not make her leave the house. There are laws in this country.

So if someone has a pedophile spouse, they are not allowed to kick them out? Who is this law protecting really is beyond my understanding...?

Anyway without "kicking" her, he could have packed a few of her things and asked her to leave because their co-living is not possible anymore due to HER CHOICES. Also is he leaving without the children? Why?

I am foreigner (there are a few people whose first language is not English and I can assure you acronyms do slow down comprehension) and in my country unfortunately mums always (99% of the times) get custody of the children and dads leave and have to pay for a double home and end up seeing their children very seldom. SO wrong, when it is clearly a wife making a mistake, so wrong that the laws do not require PARENTS to FULLY and EQUALLY look after their children. If a parent realises "I can't take care of them because of my job" they should realise how important the role of the other parent and how little their contributions towards raising the children.

Molly, in that case, if the parent is a pedophile, hopefully the other parent reports them to the authorities, and the Pos(piece of shit) is removed from the home,and given a no contact order until they go to court.

He could have packed some of her things, and told her to leave. But,legally, She doesn't have to.

I think its bullshit. I think the cheater should be made to leave. Unfortunately, the laws in thos country seem to protect cheaters.

Ok guys this whole thing just took a really bizarre turn for the worse. I KNEW there was something off about this guy. So Ive been searching this guy up even paid to get info and I noticed that he has lots of different phone numbers listed under his name and multiple addresses as well. I started getting texts from him earlier today we went back and forth about fucking my wife hes gonna kick my ass ect so I knew it was him. I then proceeded to google this number and guess what popped up. ESCORTS like an actual hooker backpage site. The number was under his name but it was a number to contact a hooker. He has probably 20 numbers listed under his name so you do the math. No wonder this ugly worm was able to sweet talk my wife he was probably trying to groom her!! That explains the car dates thats what those people do!! I told her we are getting tested immideately!! This is some sick shit I wish I was making it up.

Make sure you are documenting all of this. You may need this information.

I hope you have talked to a lawyer.

You need to speak to a lawyer.

You don’t have to file for divorce but you need to know your rights.

Also they may be able to advise you on what to do in this situation.

Ok guys this whole thing just took a really bizarre turn for the worse. I KNEW there was something off about this guy. So Ive been searching this guy up even paid to get info and I noticed that he has lots of different phone numbers listed under his name and multiple addresses as well. I started getting texts from him earlier today we went back and forth about fucking my wife hes gonna kick my ass ect so I knew it was him. I then proceeded to google this number and guess what popped up. ESCORTS like an actual hooker backpage site. The number was under his name but it was a number to contact a hooker. He has probably 20 numbers listed under his name so you do the math. No wonder this ugly worm was able to sweet talk my wife he was probably trying to groom her!! That explains the car dates thats what those people do!! I told her we are getting tested immideately!! This is some sick shit I wish I was making it up.

I doubt it is some grooming tactic. More than likely the hookers had the same spoof phone numbers he used made up by some app.

Your wife has this guys actual number right? Why not just go ahead and call the police and start the harassment/restraining order. Better yet have her do it. She started this mess.

[This message edited by Murkywaters at 10:10 PM, Friday, March 8th]