SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I just got back to work from seeing a therapist. It was kind of enlightening to just talk about how I feel, how angry I've been feeling. My wife has an appointment for next week. Since my insurance is a joint family plan. Most of what they cover for therapy is allready being used by daughter. So 12 sessions each will be covered by insurance. With my daughter going once a week at therapy I'm just going to have to make so with going 2 times a month at the most.

You're doing OK and I agree with how you're handling it but ... do you ever wonder if your wife is really worth all the trouble she's caused?

Not a whole lot has changed in the last couple days. I have checked the VAR yesterday and found nothing. The wife hormones are all over the place. She is crying at random times. I've had a few moments where I just wanted to scream. Tomorrow my wife goes to talk to a counsellor on her own. My only concern is she doesn't seem overly excited (okay excited is not the word to use) but I feel like she might just be doing it because I want her too. She says she wants too but she seems really uninterested. It could be because she is feeling embarrassed, tired, sick from pregnancy. It just an observation I have. But we'll see how she acts or is afterwards.

WH and I both have a little anxiety before we go to our IC sessions, but we're fine once we get there. It might be she's a little nervous.

I've been following your story and you have been amazingly strong and I really feel for you. We're older, this must be very difficult with young kids. Best wishes to you.

I just wanted to chime in with - going to my IC gives me a little bit of anxiety. I am not "excited" to go, ever! And my WH seems to feel the same - it's like a tough job that you feel good about once you get through it....

I want to warn you, that he does not usually come home all happy-skipping-whistling from counseling, He is often down and introspective for a while. He says working through it all is exhausting. (and he's not dealing with any crazy hormones!)

One day at at time...

S87- After all the things you have been thru, not having a lot ot report is a blessing. We all hope it stays that way.

Glad the VAR showed nothing. Hope it continues to do so.

Sounds like she's committed to R. Do you believe the same?

If you are working on R shouldn't you share your concerns about her dedication to the process?

When's the due date?

[This message edited by Stevesn at 2:26 PM, May 1st (Monday)]

The wife hormones are all over the place. She is crying at random times ... Tomorrow my wife goes to talk to a counsellor on her own. My only concern is she doesn't seem overly excited (okay excited is not the word to use) but I feel like she might just be doing it because I want her too. She says she wants too but she seems really uninterested. It could be because she is feeling embarrassed, tired, sick from pregnancy. It just an observation I have. But we'll see how she acts or is afterwards.

Your WW is probably in a very bad emotional state. She fell out of love with her H, had an affair and got caught. She got pregnant and had to go through what must have been a humiliating experience for her, learning who the father was. Now she's expected to help rebuild a marriage that she'd probably rather not be in anymore. And soon she's going to have another kid to raise, possibly on her own.

I admire your perseverance, Surprised87, but I hope you realize that the deck is still stacked against your M surviving. You should have a fall back plan in case your attempt to R doesn't work.

Now she's expected to help rebuild a marriage that she'd probably rather not be in anymore.

The old saying "any port in a storm" hits it here. Right now she has nothing else she can do and nowhere to go except home with S87. Most likely they can play nice for a while. Unless she and probably he make some huge changes they could very well be split up again in a couple years when things go back to "normal".

Keep an eye on what you "want" to do S87 and what she "wants" to do, also mix in there what you "should do or are expected" to do. Hopefully there is enough overlap for you to make an honest decision whether to stay together or not.

When's the due date?

Due date is October 12 2017. But if this pregnancy is any indication of how the two previous ones went. She should give birth around the end of September.

Last night was rough. I feeling really empty this morning. I posted over in reconciliation about my intimacy issues not being met.

I think this may be the last post I post in this thread. While I'm still in the early stages of this hell hole, I think I had made the decision to at least work toward reconciliation, with divorce still a very strong possibility.

Thank's for all the sound advice I have been given this far.