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Tigersrule77 ( member #47339) posted at 3:31 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021
alucard, I am sorry you are suffering. The end of a M is difficult for almost everyone on this site. Especially those who were hoping for R (I was for a long time). Like you, I put myself through a lot of pain and suffering that I didn't have to endure, because I didn't want to quit on my M. However, as you stated, you can't do it yourself. Your WW continues to show you that she is a very selfish person.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to stand up for yourself. Block her number for while you are on your trip. Ignore any attempt to contact you while you are gone and focus on yourself and your family. Physical and emotional distance will help you detach, and it should be easier to do while you are around other people.
I hope you are able to enjoy your trip.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:45 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021
I'm very sorry you're hurting, alucard.
I suggest reframing your thinking. Be grateful for her lack of contact - NC means no new hurts.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 1:01 AM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021
It's been 13 months now. And not only are you not seeing actual remorse from your WW for what she has done, she's still allowing the enemy of your marriage into your home and going full on DARVO if you object. Honestly, I don't understand what you see in this person.
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10
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