SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

If your boss notices an entire afternoon of less than normal production, feel free to tell him it's my fault.

Brother, you've got a long, long road ahead of you. It's a process of processing processes that just never seems to fucking end. It often felt like an overflowing inbox, for me - an overwhelming stack of shit that I'd never get through. Members here would see things in me that I could have never seen myself, most of which got stuffed at the bottom of that infinite inbox of shit to process. Take this observation of mine and file it away for a later day. You've got plenty of other things to work through before you get back to it.

They seemed to be asking a much harder question "Am I processing what happened, or am I simply becoming extremely good at describing it?"

Pfft... who says you're "extremely good at describing it?"

Describing "it" is the first step of the process. Whether that's "rage, grief, humiliation, love, disgust, responsibility, fear, and the constant pressure to make decisions that will affect my children," we can only process what we acknowledge, identify and understand. Writing about all of it is certainly a great way to start.

I think it might help you to write about one thing at a time rather than lumping it all together. Take your pick. The first on your list is rage.

Sorry if I came across conceded, fairly good at describing it.

You're an exceptional writer, man. I was just messin w ya

I write to process as well.

Sometimes what I write I can disagree with a week later but the reviewing all of it and trying to put it in words helps me sort my thoughts, be aware of what they are, examine whether they are helpful, get feedback.

And learning to feel my emotions, process them in my body helped too. I don’t do the two things together well.

I do thi k along the same lines as ink about what brene brown teaches. I too have read many of her books, but thoughts and feelings are very interconnected. We can tell ourselves any story we want. Without examination, sitting with it, editing it, and reevaluating whether you got it as accurate as you can, that narrative you are carrying around isn’t going unchecked.

As long as you also spend time in your body and your heart I think you are getting very familiar with your reality and how you ultimately view it currently. This whole thing tends to be a rollercoaster but those changes in altitude are also edits in a way.

Just make sure you are getting into your heart and body as well, but I recognize the process and it’s worked successfully for me.