SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

For the first few yeats my FWH would look at me and and say "are you ok with this? Do you want to stop watching this?" I always said no because part of me wanted him to see it and somehow understand the pain I don’t know. I have more issues with AP name popping up. That’s still (7 years out) a huge trigger for me that I’m continually working on.

Oh man, brokendollparts, I’m "glad" to hear the name triggers you. I wasn’t sure if I was alone in feeling that way. My supervisor has the same name, so you can image how much I like going to work! Thanks for sharing!

I don’t like depictions of infidelity, either.

Watched a show recently in which the heroine was cheating. Her husband was depicted as a good man. Beautiful children.

And while the cheating was incidental to the main plot line, I couldn’t root for the heroine, who was, of course, smart, brave and beautiful.

But what gets me worse than depictions of infidelity are depictions of loving, happy relationships. Those I have to tune out.

The unfaithful.... What a movie... It made me think early on... Diane lane was gorgeous, and olivier Martinez was awesome too. Richard Gere was the husband of your dreams. I watched the movie when I was at my early twenties I think, and we were laughing with gorlfriends about how beautiful olivier Martinez was. We were carefree and not married. The end was 👀. I think that what I kept back then from the movie was that you can't play games because you never know how one is going to react..the injured party that is.. Funny thing is that wh hated this movie. Guess what, I didn't cheat but he did.... I think we should watch it, sit and admire the lust that lasts 32 nanoseconds, and reflect once again on the devastation that infidelity eventually brings....

Yeah the holidays were always rough. I choose to limit who we told about my Ws A. Counselors only after Dday. I'd see so many happy people and when reality is rarely happy...Man, did I resent all those smiling people.

We began to watch cooking shows as they were "safe" or less likely to trigger.

I am better at seeing mentions of infidelity if it comes up. I might get a minor trigger, but I remind myself that is not me, not my wife. IC helped me a lot on that.

My W will usually leave the room or come sit by me and cry. I used to think that response was for my benefit. I think it helps my wife more now. She feels it is amends to help her feel less "bad." She accepts that was her, but she has done a lot to show how she is different today.

Honestly, just stick to shows and movies for awhile that you know aren't infidelity related. If it comes up you deal with it with your WS. It is amazing what a simple acknowledgement can do to help the trigger process faster.

Early on you are hyper focused on infidelity. It is normal BTW. Infidelity was always "everywhere," you are just better at recognizing it.