Topic is Sleeping.
skeetermooch (original poster member #72169) posted at 2:46 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2021
I'm actually hoping he reaches out again, just so I can flex the boundary muscle - I've been trying to come up with the right response.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 7:14 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2021
Does this kind of thing work on anyone????
Well apparently it did for my cheating ex. But he worked out a lot. And sent lots of naked pics and video sex chats.
It wouldn't work on me though. Which I guess is why we are getting a divorce. 
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
skeetermooch (original poster member #72169) posted at 3:18 PM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2021
Well apparently it did for my cheating ex. But he worked out a lot. And sent lots of naked pics and video sex chats.
This is astounding to me. But I know it's true.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
siracha ( member #75132) posted at 5:14 PM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2021
There are men who are not used to being friends with women at any level . Even a normal neighborly interaction with those men is a mistake because they will mis interpret every single thing you say . He seems like one of those people . So fking exhausting
Also , best to respond quite clearly to the first transgression
“ i dont want this to be a big deal at all but i want you to know that i was uncomfortable with your last email and going forward i would appreciate it if we did not discuss anything salacious in nature . Not even a book Thank you in advance for your understanding and respecting my preferences “
If he responds with hostility you should level up . If he apologizes you can be gracious at that point .
skeetermooch (original poster member #72169) posted at 9:05 PM on Wednesday, February 10th, 2021
So he sent a flurry of texts last night and this morning. Here's how I responded: "I'm not sure what you're looking for, but I only want to be friendly neighbors."
His response: "Me too."
Why the hell do men pretend they were never interested the minute you reject them - it's so ridiculous.
Yes, he wants to be friendly neighbors like an 80s porn movie.
Hopefully he crawl back under his rock now. If there's a next time he reaches out, I'll be even blunter.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 9:14 PM on Wednesday, February 10th, 2021
If there's a next time he reaches out, I'll be even blunter.
He will reach out again cus he clearly doesn't get it.
Be Ellie-blunt. Or send him these
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
skeetermooch (original poster member #72169) posted at 3:16 AM on Thursday, February 11th, 2021
Omg, Ellie, these are great. Saving them. I truly will send if he bugs me again. LMAO.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
aprilfool1985 ( member #56750) posted at 4:43 AM on Thursday, February 11th, 2021
Gavin De Becker has an explicit rejection which you might want to consider using:
No matter what you may have assumed till now, and no matter for what reason you assumed it, I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever. I am certain I never will. I expect that knowing this, you will put your attention elsewhere, which I understand because I intend to put my attention elsewhere.
_The Gift of Fear_ and _Protecting the Gift_ are very useful books.
Me: BS, of a certain age Him: WS, of a certain age +3 events in question around 1985, M 1988, several adult children
earlydetour ( member #63207) posted at 3:31 PM on Thursday, February 11th, 2021
If you aren't interested in him sexually, it sounds like he needs to be told that directly and explicitly. "I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with you or to you."
It sounds like he wants a FWB/booty call situation. Using the terms dating, friendship, relationship, romance with him allow him to be vague and agree with you - he's agreeable to not having those either because he wants a NSA situation with you.
What is his definition of "friendly neighbor"? He seems like the type that will persist and will only stop if he gets miffed by being ignored/ghosted. This game of words and their meaning stops when you end it.
jadedangel ( member #26979) posted at 7:12 AM on Friday, February 12th, 2021
I agree with Earlydetour.
Your definition of friendly neighbor could be a lot different from his.
Remember this is a pig we are talking about and he has no qualms with overstepping social boundaries.
He has to have terms that he understands and cannot misconstrue to mean anything else. Be blunt and spell it out for him.
Divorced 2007.
EXWH died 2011
Remarried 2018!
skeetermooch (original poster member #72169) posted at 3:31 PM on Friday, February 12th, 2021
It sounds like he wants a FWB/booty call situation. Using the terms dating, friendship, relationship, romance with him allow him to be vague and agree with you - he's agreeable to not having those either because he wants a NSA situation with you.
That's what I'm thinking.
I've not heard from him since the last exchange. Hopefully, that's it but I'll have no trouble spelling it out in not nice way should he take another shot. It will be something like: I am not attracted to you and never will be nor do I think we have enough in common to warrant a friendship.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:18 PM on Friday, February 12th, 2021
Your mistake in your last text was using the word friendly.
For someone looking for a booty call that can be taken in a number of different ways.
You need to say JUST neighbors.
You need to be prepared to seem a bit harsh in your mind to him the next time he reaches out, and he will. These slime balls just won't take no, unless it's a hard no, for an answer.
Creepy MF'r.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Lavenderrose ( member #49775) posted at 12:05 AM on Sunday, February 14th, 2021
Yeah that is not the way to talk to a woman.
As a woman I know this. I wish I could say men know this. My aplogies to the men who know better.
Just give him the brush off and then block his number.
If this is what he is already saying it is not going anywhere good in the future.
Some men have such outdated ideas about women and apparently no self discipline.
Yuck!
You deserve better.
Topic is Sleeping.
