In many ways I feel that people think they are synonymous, so I have absolutely no problem with being a "bitch." If acting strong, demanding respect, being brutally honest and enforcing boundaries makes you a "bitch," then I'm fucking Meredith Brooks!
Before the asshole SAXH, I absolutely never let a guy buy me a drink, unless it was one of my already established group of guy friends - they're a different story. I had two go-to moves when offered a drink. I was careful to decide which move to use based off of my first instincts about the guy.
The first move was for the guys who I felt like were just players. You know the type - the ones who you've seen chat it up with multiple different women in the time you've been at the bar/restaurant, kind of a predatory vibe, walks up super full of himself. Especially the guys who come at you with a corny line. No matter how attractive a guy is, that kind of behavior is such a huge turnoff!
Whenever those guys offered me a drink, I would say "I'm perfectly happy to have a conversation with you over a drink, but I buy my own drinks. Also, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not going home with you tonight. Knowing that you could have a great conversation with me, but definitely no sex, do you still want to talk?" This would automatically weed out many of the creeper dudes who were just looking to get laid. I literally had some guys just give me a look and turn around without saying a word. Fine by me, problem solved!
This way, I'm not outright turning anyone down - who am I to judge, maybe this guy who has been circling the bar talking to every woman there is actually a great guy? First instinct says no, but I'm leaving it open to see what kind of person he is. Yes, I would get the occasional guy who felt like he had something to prove and would buy me the drink anyway, then take it as a challenge and try to get me to hook up with him. But more often than not, the ones who stuck around after that line were actually at least interested in a real conversation.
The second line was for someone I was actually interested in from the get go. The kind of guy who was really just there hanging out with his friends, but you have made eye contact with each other a few times, and he finally got the courage up to come talk to you. When that guy offered me a drink, I would say "I don't let guys buy me drinks, but if you still want to talk, I'll buy you one." If he felt weird about a woman buying him a drink, I saw that as a "strong women need not apply" sign plastered over his head, and it was a non-starter. If they were open to me buying them a drink, more often than not they were a pretty cool dude. Many times those conversations wouldn't lead anywhere romantic, but I would at least get to hear some interesting stories and have a fun night. Sometimes they did get flirty, but I always felt like I had at least filtered through the bullshit enough to know that he wasn't some machismo asshole with a fragile ego, so I felt safer being open with a guy like that.
I still feel like it's the best way to handle the at-a-bar meet-cute nowadays. So many men complain about "I bought her drinks all night, what a waste, she didn't even go home with me." This puts the ball in their court from the get go either way. You can't say I didn't warn you!
Gonna have to get back on the dating horse at some point so I'll have a chance to use these again and see how it pans out 7 years later :/