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Many many bad things but one that stands out as very painful for me. Liar Liar got me flowers for Mothers Day last year. No card just a nice arrangement. Unbeknownst to me at that time, had TWO arrangements delivered to AP 1 - one for her and one in honor of her recently deceased mother. Mind you, my mother and AP1's mother passed away within weeks of each other. I was married to thIs man for 36 YEARS. My mother loved him as if he were her son. My heart was shredded for my mother that day. That he cared more about the feelings of AP1 on a painful day and wanted to honor a woman he NEVER EVEN MET over my mother, his MIL - I will never be able to wrap my head around that. I cried for my mother that day and cry as I type this.

Stop spinning how did he justify/explain this when you raised it with him? Was he as horrified as he should have been?

Hi Yuvas - sadly no. He wasn't horrified or mortified like a rationally thinking person should have been. He told me he "forgot" about my mom's passing. How sad. I'm so grateful to God that my mother is not here to witness all that has transpired. This incident is the one thing that really got my attention. The disrespect to me I could absorb up to a point. But the disrespect to my mother was unforgivable.

Never used protection, during his LTA, with a dirty nasty ass skanky biyatch that had a hysterectomy at 35 (10 years pre A) because the slut had cervical cancer due to (of course) it’s positive HPV status!

Thank God, I have tested HPV negative for the past 6 years even though he was “kind” enough to expose me to it by sleeping with both of us for 4-5 years during the A and then with just (lucky me) for 3 1/2 years after D-Day while he TT me that his A had never, ever been a PA.

After reading all this, I don't have much.

She had her A in a trip to Mexico, for her work. Now she has to go back and finish the work, so, when I questioned that, she asked me to go with her, visit the same cities, go with her to the same places she went with AP.

WTF, dear WW. Are we going to stay in the same bed too?

Thing is, now I hate everything to do with that country. Yes, a whole country is my trigger.

I guess she's choosing this "research" over our M.

Worst was his demanding a D.

After 25 years of a good M - he was going to kick me to the curb for a younger model.

We have R but that still hurts.

At 28 months it has boiled down to these:

1. Met at the waterfront for their usual drinks and nice appetizers at a nice restaurant the day before and the day after our very first wedding anniversary. On our anniversary we had to abandon dinner plans because of my health. No offer of a rain check.

2. Used my good will urging of her to get out of the house (I am disabled and was in a bad flare) and make friends and get active. I even helped her navigate the often rush-hour traffic via phone (we did not have data or smart phones) -- not knowing I was helping her go be with her ex-gf/AP. All the lies, allowing me to believe she was doing one thing or another while instead was using tht time to be with her ex.

3. Not once during the entire 6 month affair did she think to herself or say to her AP "I shouldn't be here" or "I need to leave because I am married" or anything of the kind. Not once. She was simply going to wait for the affair to fizzle out.

4. The extensive TT and the lies. Especially the "facetious lies" like "Sure I wanted to **** her all the time" after telling me countless times it wasn't about sex; or when in ernest I would ask over and over if she still had feeling for her ex, she would say something like "Yes! Is that what you want to hear?"

-mocked me with other women

-sent photos of me, offering me for group sex with other people

It was all pretty f**ing bad.

It is disgusting. I know on at least one occasion he came home and had sex with me after being with the whore. The thought of that still disgust me today.

But the one thing that will forever be etched in my mind, is when I heard him tell the whore “that I’m a good companion but it’s you I want” he was wanting sex with her. I cried for days. I found out and heard a lot of things I wish I did not know. I had to know the truth about whether or not he was cheating. I know cheaters lie to each other. A are based on lies. Sometimes the lies I heard him tell her were humorous. That’s what I need to try and remember. The whore tried to hid a few personal belongings at our home so she’d not have to pack so much when they’d go out for a fuck. How stupid can you be. Like I’m not going to find them and know they aren’t mine! The gaslighting destroyed me the most. Wished I’d trusted my gut and just left.

My hair dresser moved to a different location and I drive by one of the motels he took her to every time I have a hair appt.

Every time I drive by a perticular business that she hid her car while they were away on one of their screw feast I have to fight a trigger. Whore attends the same church as I do. And ocasdionally I see her in a store and the stupid whore would say hi to me. I pretend she doesn’t exist . The nerve of that bitch. She must not have an ounce of conscious

[This message edited by FlyingPegasus at 8:43 PM, July 1st (Monday)]

Wow, SO sorry! The worst for me is similar. He'd have sex with her and then a day or so later with me and I felt massive negativity enter me when he did and that's how I found out (though he denied it over and over and...over) They don't tell us and let us choose. We then carry someone else's energy in our body, someone who is our enemy. Ouch

His oldest son tried to talk to him after he had decided to move out. He told his son that our sex was not great and he did not like having sex with his mother.

Found some "sexy" underwear in the wash one day, knew "I" had not bought it. Left it out for him to find right on top of our bed, he found it and came out and "swore" it was not his and tried to blame our youngest son that it must be his or one of his friends. Then unbeknownst to me took the underwear and put it over in his sons room to find. My son comes up to me later and wants to know why this underwear is in his room. And I am SO embarrassed that his father took it that far....that far.

Still shocked by the weirdness and just selfish crazy defensiveness. I mean WHY involve your own kids? Why not just fess up to it and take the heat? Be a man about it? Its like they go down this rabbit hole of destruction and they want to drag everyone down with them who has never done anything to them but love them. It so sick and bizarre.

So many hard and sad stories here. I just don't think it does end until you as a BS can get away from it. You just will always know they are capable of it. That is the sad part.

Wow...so many terrible things. I am just so sorry that we are all here. OP and others, I am just so sorry to hear-what you experienced is just pure evil.

Mine-

He brought her to our house, in our bed. Twice. And never washed the sheets after-just let me sleep in the bed as if nothing had happened.

He talked to her on the phone with my son in the car. I guess he thought our son was asleep, or he couldn't hear b/c he had headphones in. My son later told our daughter that he heard the phone call, knew it was a woman and knew it wasn't me. Still have no idea what he heard.

Left my son waiting to be picked up to attend a favorite event that they attended yearly because he was with her...getting a BJ in an empty hotel conference room. I ended up taking him to the event and dropping him off before his dad got there-because I believed that he was actually stuck in traffic.

There are more of course. But it all just sucks.

Had a conversation where the AP commented how easy it would be to kill me so that they could end up together.

I have a few. Once when I was at the dr with our then 11 year old daughter and her pediatrician told me she may have Lupus, yes, you guessed it, he called the OW 24 times that day. When same child was in the hospital after a liver biopsy, yes again he slipped down to the parking deck to all OW. When he had his PA, this is a different person, he went there while on dinner break working an extra job and he was wearing his police uniform. It kills me to think of a uniform that I had so much respect for laying in the floor while he had sex with her. The latest EA, 2017 for 6 months happened before, during and after our 5 yr old granddaughter’s dad abandoned her, my WH is her only father figure.

((((Crushed7))))

Lots of horrible stories, but when they become about how to "get rid" of a spouse? This is when I feel it should be a crime. I know it never will be, but it should.

We had been planning to go on a cruise for about a year. We were going to be meeting up with family members and friends. We were both really looking forward to it. I had noticed my WH was being cold and a bit mean to me for a couple of months and the thought he was cheating was on my mind but I was looking forward to alone time with him without any distractions.

On the ship my WH would go to meals with me but spent the rest of the time in our room. He had bought the internet package (he said it was to keep in touch with our kids who are in college) and I noticed he was always on the phone. I did activities by myself or with other members. They would ask me where WH was and I just said he wasn't feeling well. He was always "asleep" when I got back and in the mornings he would quickly get up before I had a chance to move over to cuddle with him. Not the romantic cruise I had thought we were going to have.

The last night of the cruise I spend with family and as they talked and laughed I felt sad and alone. I hid my tears as I didn't want them to know anything was wrong said my goodbyes and eventually just went back to our room. He was still up packing and asked me if I wanted to take our own luggage off the ship or have the crew do it for us. I just gave him a look and said angrily that I really didn't care and I went to sleep.

I year after that he surprised me with another cruise and we had a great time. He more than made up for how he treated me on the previous one but I still get a bit angry when I think of the previous cruise.

Out of the blue a couple of days after DD, and with no emotion in her voice, she told me that she locked our pretty, vivacious DD3 and DS4 out of the house in the back garden and took her best friend's H to our bed.

The back garden was separated from a public footpath by a three foot wall and the unlocked gate he used when he visited - the bedroom was through two walls - one 18" stone. Out of sight, out of hearing, at risk of abduction - no emotion whatsoever.

All of these recounts are horrible. This did not happen to me, thank God, by my friend's neighbor had a horrifying experience. Her husband performed oral on OW and came home and kissed his wife.

Wow horrendous things our waywards have done and said to us.

For me this one still stings, it was when I needed to have a cancer biopsy done and my H who supposedly had ended his LTA, but had actually taken it underground, said to me with no emotion "You know if its gone to your bones your a gonner"!!