Just the time I thought I'd managed to process better and feel a bit more detached he triggered me in a text.
He still calls me to handle things like we are still a couple. I know I should cut it off entirely but I haven't.
He doesn't ask his bottom of the barrel darling he's hooked up with to do much for him beyond be a woman he can hang out with that doesn't challenge or question him. I have a feeling she's as dumb as a box of rocks, and he can't depend on her to save his ass from anything.
I'm his go to person for everything from asking me to remind him to get an updated will for the kids, the one he asks to pay his property taxes with his debit card. The one he depends on for any serious task that's needed. Almost always he asks when I'm working during the hours he pays me. Sometimes it's on a weekend. I've learned not to answer the phone then for that reason.
Of course he doesn't ask her. She's largely ornamental, albiet not a pretty ornament that he normally would not have picked. She's the reduced price, bruised bananna that you pick up because there were no other bananas available. He even used the same endearment for her that he used for me. That stung.
Today after asking me to send personal emails for him, take care of some issus with his payments, and getting his account set up for auto debit, he accidentally text me "sounds good sweetie". That one simple text set me off. I replied "thank you honey". He immediately realized his mistake, and typed "oops". I told him he reuses endearments and I'm surprised he hasn't run out of them yet.
He told me to calm down and used a Star Wars reference that he used to call me. I said it was insulting that the only thing that ever changes are the women. I asked why she isn't taking care of these things, and then told him he gets me to do it because he has no confidence in her. He replied "Urgh" I said there's a reason you don't involve her and it's because you're enjoying the benefits of both, and I doubt she realizes it.
I left off with I think it would be best if she handled these things going forward, that I'm sure he has the upmost confidence in her skill set.
I can't believe this one term of accidental endearment made me this upset. Why are such stupid things so damn triggering? You can be fine, and then suddenly you feel like the last pick at dodgeball as a child, vunerable, invisible and unwanted. It's irrational I know, but it still has an impact.
[This message edited by Muggle at 1:04 AM, Wednesday, March 18th]
