SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Nothing new. Just recovery not being linear, blah blah blah. Had a great month. Ran into OW....again....today. Would REALLY like this to be less of a thing and to remember that I "won". I sort of did. We're much, much better. Trying. Though, feeling sometimes that the trying is SO hard. 2 years, 4 months out from DDay. I know it will be ok.....today it's just hard.

Because this is the R forum I can't use the very foul language I want. So how about FORGET her. Sorry you have to see her at all, ever. That sucks. BUT - she has to see you. She was disposable and was disposed of.

I guess it is just mourning the naive version of what I thought I had. She WAS ultimately disposed of by FWH and her husband. And, she's broken and hurts people like broken people do. I could stay home, stop the things I love....but the town is small enough that I'd run into her anyway. Anyone out there double betrayed with friends/family and see far too much of them? I usually politely ignore, but that shit is hard.
FWH doesn't run into her....or nearly as often. It is just that when I do, I'm full boar....WTH am I doing here. It takes me back to DDay. And, I'm in a place where I can't/don't wanna/you can't make me/all people are assholes....etc. Most times FWH is able to engage in a good way. Dude, sometimes he gets tired. I know I do. Crappy thing about infidelity is that, once it happens....particularly in a "happy" marriage....it taints you for anything else. I'm afraid that I'll never be happy some days. And then again...he's making me dinner. So, I "should" feel fine.

[This message edited by Ladybugmaam at 11:35 PM, Friday, September 10th]

I could stay home, stop the things I love....

No!!! Infidelity has already taken too much. Don’t let her have that power. She is nothing, your H is making you dinner!! Make new memories and enjoy these good times. It still hurts I get it.

I posted recently on the 2 year antiversary that my WW left a bar with a stranger and had a ONS, turned PA. I hate the bar and the town. I hear the name of the town and it makes me sick. I said, and I’m serious, we are going there next year so I can show her what it’s like to leave the bar with a real man. I need to own that place and the trigger. It won’t be easy but no way I let him have that over me.

Ok, have followed your story from the beginning. I hope your fwh is doing all he can to reassure you that he is all in on your reconciliation. It is so hard to have to contend with the ap when she is still around. Stay strong and have faith in yourself. Hopefully b things will get better.

Sofarsogood.....
I recognize that being the BS taints your brain in a strong "not enough" way. He is..... He's putting up with a lot from me and keeps coming back. I'm not sorry about that. Just tired.

I hear you

LBM. Oh the joy of living in a small area. It sounds like you're doing the best you can with grace and dignity. I know you're tired, but just know that you have people on this site to support you when you need it.