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My sister is really struggling.

Her health is not great, she has just had her 2nd knee replacement and is a mess.

She came over the other day and shared with me all of these awful feelings of inferiority and condemnation from our childhood.

She feels that me and our older sister were superior to her in every way. (A total joke by the way - except that she feels it is true).

Her feelings of inferiority are expressed in situations like if a friend doesn’t call her for an extended period of time, she worries day and night about what she did to upset them, and what she can do to fix it.

And on and on.

She finally told me that she has been on this sleep medicine for 5 years, and that she has recently stopped taking it abruptly because she is sleeping better. She failed to share that it was also medicine for depression. Her PCP said the feelings she was having were most probably due to that.

She also said she has been seeing this ghost in her house, very clearly, but that her very high strung dog doesn’t seem to notice. PCP also told her that hallucinations could be attributed to the way she stopped her meds.

Anyway, she asked me what she should do. I suggested she follow the drs instructions about going back on the meds and perhaps being weaned off later if appropriate. I also suggested a counselor, AND maybe a book to help her get a different perspective regarding her worth/value.

I mean, “Who is John Galt?”

Anyway, any suggestions for a book and/or type of counselor?

She needs a full blook workup including a urinalysis and to stop whatever she is taking for pain management for her knee especially if she hasn't taken it before.

I have no idea what medication she stopped but hallucinations are not normal and should not be just brushed off as caused by a med change.

Anyone know what would be a good “beginner” book gently outlining codependency?

Codependent No more

Alanon is great for breaking through the concepts, and learning how to separate yourself from the unhealthy people in your life.

Her issue tends to be a need to love herself more.

Is “Codependency No More” good for that concept?

Yes it helps you identify the cycle of negative self talk, and learning that your happiness needs to come from within, not from others.

It takes time, and is hard to break life long habits, no matter what they are. Alanon and it's philosophies helped me as well, as I had toxic relationships with my parents. My sister truly is the golden child. There was also some mental abuse, and gaslighting I had to deal with as recently as 2 summers ago. No more. I keep them at arms length. If they need me I'd be there in a heartbeat, but I will not allow them close to my heart anymore.

Whatsright: I don’t have a book suggestion but your reference to Atlas Shrugged made my day! 😀

Thanks for all that input.

I have decided to start her off with Brenee Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”. I love her and think my sister will as well. Then I’ll suggest the “Codependent No More”.

She is back on her meds that she had abruptly stopped using, and has had no more “sitings” in her home.

Fingers crossed.

I don't think Atlas Shrugged will help anyone with low self-esteem.

And remember Ayn Rand's history, discussion of which is verboten in this forum.

Sisoon: I wasn't suggesting Atlas Shrugged. lol I enjoyed WhatsRight's reference to it..."Who is John Galt?"

I just love that book and the Fountainhead actually. If I were to suggest a book The Gifts of Imperfection would do nicely.

[This message edited by NorthernMSB at 3:10 PM, July 23rd (Friday)]

Severe depression can cause hallucinations.

She got the book...”The Gift of Imperfections” yesterday and has already started reading it. Fingers crossed.

No, I wasn’t actually trying to suggest “Atlas Shrugged” either, but I have to say it did help with my self esteem when I read it years ago.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 10:20 AM, July 25th (Sunday)]