SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Stbx and I have been separated but living in the same roof since December. He was a real asshole and very much on board with the separation and divorce. He blamed me for his actions and pointed out all the "trauma" I caused him. We made plans of me moving out with the kids in the middle of March to a house we purchased before we separated, and him moving to an apartment nearby to be close to the kids. We both agreed that the divorce will be amicable and neither of us needed to go broke in lawyer fees.

We broke the news to our children ages 12, 9, and 4 on Monday. It was an emotional time but I felt another weight lifted off my shoulders. Ever since that meeting with the kids, STBX realized how awful he was to me. How much he took me for granted and how he regrets the whole situation and wants to grow old with me

I think what really happened is that his latest attempt at cheating did not work out and he realized he was going to stay alone. He is now acting obsess over me and begging me to give him another chance. I shot him down and told he there's no hope. I don't love him and I will never trust him again.

He makes me exhausted and I told him I don't want to engage in any more of those conversations.

Deep inside I feel like when he finally realized that he doesn't have a chance, our chance for an amicable divorce will be out the window.

Henr04

The position you have on moving forward is quite often what occurs. from my personal experience . . .

Also it is not unusual to vacillate as you remember the good times and the sharing of children from birth to the present (I hope that has been positive!)

Some point in time along the path of life you find that someone has become just a person - someone you have no care about or actually find yourself not wanting to be in their company. It happens when they have made you unhappy and/or disappointed with their behavior.

many times -

Sad it is that this person is the father of your children. Also bad is they (the children) will eventually figure out their father is a bit short of some personality traits that make a good "father."

They will sadly learn - best to keep in mind they have feelings and confusion - confusion as in the situation (splitting apart) is new to them and they have no experience dealing with their life getting torn. Help them as gently as you can in explaining how you must begin to live separate from hubby.

Probably the "air" in the house has been thick with tension. Living apart will eventually give them the experience of not having to live in a tense situation. They will begin to gain a measure of happiness.

Also, they will gradually learn to deal with "no father" in the house.

Life won't be the same but will become better.

Sounds like a very difficult situation. Have you considered counseling to help navigate the waters some? I have been through 2 divorces where the ex was cheating horribly. I understand the drama that plays out. It is never easy.

You have two weeks until you move out.

He wants another Chance? Tell him he has all the time in the world to prove to you he’s not going to lie and cheat. But that you are still separating from him b/c you & kids are no longer living with a liar and cheater.

See if he does anything the next few weeks or just gives up. Obviously you are not going to do anything to help promote reconciliation but it may be just enough to get him off your back.

And in my opinion he has not “realized” anything. He just doesn’t want to be alone.

our chance for an amicable divorce will be out the window

Always plan for the worse. Many will say an amicable divorce is what they want but really mean amicable for theirselves.

Please continue on your current plan of moving out. IF he is truly sincere, it will show in his actions even after you move out.

Ever since that meeting with the kids, STBX realized how awful he was to me. How much he took me for granted and how he regrets the whole situation and wants to grow old with me

Waywards don't realize what they are losing until they live it. Its part of their brokenness . They take that for granted and the A is just icing on top. Even those whose AP really wants them around suddenly realize what they had for a few hours a week isn't nearly as satisfying as what they are giving up. That's why the first recommendation for BS is to do the 180 to push them off the fence instead of doing the pick me dance.

Keep moving forward. He doesn't have a choice here, but encourage him to get IC for his brokenness.

I'm 7yrs out and my ex STILL begs me to take him back.

In my case, he's a broken individual (an active addict) and continues to make bad decision, including the women he hangs with.

Every time one of these women screw him over (they steal, they lie, etc.) he begs for me to take him back.

I know he doesn't love ME as an individual, I represent stability. He had that stability with me for 16yrs but chose drugs and cheating over a stable life with me and the kiddos.

Stay strong. I have had an amazing 7yrs without him and the only time I have sucky times is when he pops back into our lives

I think what really happened is that his latest attempt at cheating did not work out and he realized he was going to stay alone. He is now acting obsess over me and begging me to give him another chance.

Good thinking.

I agree, prepare for the worse. Be wise and get all your ducks in a row. People like him are manipulative and reactive so usually it is easy to out maneuver them. He's hoping he can still con you.

But, look at you. You have developed a freaking amazing backbone, are creating boundaries, and you are seeing the situation clearly despite his attempts to abort your new life.