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Newest Member: CrazyDaisy

Just Found Out :
I need hugs!!

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 MsCajunBelle (original poster new member #60706) posted at 11:59 PM on Wednesday, January 10th, 2018

WH has been on a job twelve hours away since Nov. 4th, so I haven't seen him since then. I've been able to process certain things, but I've also been able to push it all aside when I want to. He is driving home right now and my anxiety level is through the roof. All I see is hurting, crying, and fighting when he comes back. Maybe back to not eating and sleeping. I need hugs y'all! Can I make it through these next two weeks before he leaves for work again? Dday was Sept 14th and I'm definitely in an angry phase.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2017   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8068227
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kaygem ( member #57956) posted at 12:21 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

MScajun, I don't know your story but I feel your pain and your anxiety! My H worked away for periods of time as well. Now, after Dday, when he takes trips, my stress levels goes through the roof (even though I know he is not presently cheating). Saying a prayer for your tonite and sending a hug!

Me: BW
Him: fWH Remorseful, doing the work
Dday-3/17 (ONS's)

posts: 1459   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2017
id 8068242
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annb ( member #22386) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

Sending prayers and hugs!

What has your WH done to prove he will not go down the infidelity path again?

You will be ok. Just breathe and try to relax.

posts: 12208   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 8068265
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 MsCajunBelle (original poster new member #60706) posted at 2:24 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

Thank y'all! I appreciate that there is always someone here who can relate.

WH hasn't really done much. He's put a tracking app on his phone and says he has gone NC, but I don't know for sure. He's not exactly begging my forgiveness.

We have two boys and to keep things normal, as we have done in the past, are going to celebrate Christmas when he gets in. Probably this weekend. I feel like I have to put on a fake smile and pretend I'm happy. Ugh. He's two hours away. My stomach is in knots.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2017   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8068302
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:56 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

Sending you strength and peace. Hope it goes well for your kids’ Christmas. (((Hugs)))

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6237   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8068408
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 9:25 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

(((HUGS)))

Sending you some strength, a cu if coffee, and some toast. Small bets, tons of water. Take naps.

BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2199   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8068411
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burcm ( member #55812) posted at 10:00 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

You are heard. If your WH is still far from being safe, then why do you tolerate him? If he is giving you so much pain and is trying to avoid transparency (that is what it looks like from here), why are you with him? I do not mean divorce him but try separation. And if he does not come to his senses still, you know what to do...Sending you strength and patience...

Divorced the XWW and remarried to a wonderful woman much higher in both quality and beauty.

posts: 301   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2016   ·   location: Istanbul
id 8068412
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NoMercy ( member #54563) posted at 11:47 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

This is the serial cheater who works away from home and you know of at least 12 women he's been involved with (in some form or fashion) and it's pretty much a guarantee there's a lot more you haven't found out about.

With serial cheaters, for every rat you DO see, there are 50 you don't.

I feel really bad for you. Why are you trying to force yourself to stay with an unremorseful serial cheater who makes you feel sick to your stomach with fear, knowing he's coming home?

This sounds like some kind of horrific endurance test you're being forced to participate in. Are you stuck with him due to religious reasons or financial reasons? Your kids are teenagers so it's not like you need to stay home all day because they're dependent on you, which means if you're not working, there's no reason you can't start if you ever want to be independent and have OPTIONS.

What is the payoff for you, torturing yourself like this and forcing yourself to stay with someone who literally makes you sick?

Don't cling to a mistake just because you took so long making it.

Some people aren't loyal to you - they are loyal to their NEED of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty...

posts: 3940   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2016   ·   location: Eastern USA
id 8068431
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:10 PM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

It’s hard to pretend like that for too long.

When you become indifferent you will know the M is over. As in you no longer care if he cheats or not. It comes home. Or lies.

Wishing you a peaceful co-existence.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14271   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8068932
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MadOldBat ( member #44146) posted at 11:54 PM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

I'm sending you hugs ((((MsCajunBelle))))

hugs and strength.

MOB xx

Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.

posts: 3990   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2014   ·   location: In House Separation.
id 8069037
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OneInTheSame ( member #49854) posted at 5:46 AM on Friday, January 12th, 2018

Now, please promise you will consult an attorney. You need to know your rights.

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2535   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 8069207
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Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 6:08 AM on Friday, January 12th, 2018

((((MsCajunBelle)))

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5543   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 8069212
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StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 3:03 AM on Saturday, January 13th, 2018

Sending hugs. Hope it’s going ok. Take care of yourself. If you are happier and at peace when he is gone....maybe that’s the right life choice for you. Thinking of you.

Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R

posts: 1632   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8069932
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anthony ( new member #61903) posted at 7:31 AM on Saturday, January 13th, 2018

I feel your pain. My D day was December 15 2017. Just a few weeks ago and my emotions are all over the place. I'm almost done on my 1st business trip that started in New Orleans since I found out what happens in my home when I'm gone. I'm still a mess and trying to carry on but at times I don't know how. Time heals all... so I heard. Keep ur head up.

posts: 43   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2017   ·   location: Idaho
id 8070015
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