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Wife cheated and lied and I feel like I have nothing

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KingofNothing posted 7/17/2020 12:23 PM

Man, I was wincing reading this. I'm sorry, I know you want a happy ending, but this board is all about SURVIVING infidelity, not necessarily curing it. Your wife is telling you, loud and clear, that she does-not-love-you any more. It is time to be firm and decisive, no matter how scary this prospect is. She wronged you. You didn't do anything wrong. She betrayed you, she betrayed your marriage, and she wants to sit back and act like she's the prize here?

That little bit with the hand holding was disgusting. If that's what she wants, she can have all of him. You have your self respect, you have clarity. She isn't coming back. Move out on this. See the JAG office in her command. Report him and report her. Please understand this basic fact-- you were not put on Earth to make her adultery easy and convenient. She wronged you big time, and she wants you to just swallow it down and walk away to allow her her "freedom". Don't make it easy for either one of them. They CHOSE to inflict this pain on you. In my book, and honestly I doubt anyone else here thinks differently, people who actively choose to do the wrong thing knowing it will hurt other people very badly aren't worth saving. She isn't interested in being saved! Time to agree with her in the most forceful terms possible. File today if not sooner. She won't dispute it. She might go for mediation and a swift dissolution. I'm not normally the guy blaring "EXPOSE HER" all over the place, but she seems caught up in being the "good guy" in all this. She isn't the good guy. Far from it.

Do ALL of the common sense stuff people recommend. Exercise, lots of it. Meditation, counseling for betrayal trauma. Eat healthy. See a lawyer, see a lawyer, see a lawyer. See the JAG officer. Don't forget that. The military REALLY FROWNS ON THIS behavior. Did you contact lover boy's girlfriend? Oh, no? Why not? See my earlier premise. You weren't put on this Earth to make THEIR AFFAIR CONVENIENT. The next part is not fun, but you will survive this. You are a lot tougher than you think. Come on here and rant all you like, this is maybe the best place on the internet for sympathetic ears about cheating spouses. I'm really very sorry.

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