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I just found out my husband had an affair 25 years ago

Pages: 1 · 2

gmc94 posted 7/14/2020 12:47 PM

Hamilton -

I'm glad you are getting benefit from How to Help Your Spouse Heal. I just re-read it over the weekend.

have you consulted an attorney about the OC angle?

Have you scheduled a full STD exam (HPV can lie dormant for a long time and there are different screenings, so even if he's being truthful and hasn't had sex with anyone else, it is still important that your ob/gyn knows to do a full screening for everything).

Has your WH agreed to a complete WRITTEN timeline? Some may want two - one with the basics (who, when, were, etc) and others with the nitty gritty (ie sexual) details. This is pretty much a pro forma thing. Even if you don't want to know, have him do it so that you can give it to the polygraph examiner to confirm that he is telling the truth. Cheaters are very very very good liars. It took me months after dday to really accept that it was not safe for me to believe a single word that comes out of that man's mouth. Just bc he admitted to the things you already knew does not mean that he's giving you the full story. Better to get that out of the way sooner vs later.

Aside from all that "business", how are YOU doing these days?

heartbroken3414 posted 7/15/2020 16:12 PM

Hamilton, I am so sorry. I understand you pain. As others have said:

1. Get STD/STI texting
2.consult a lawyer


Donít believe anything your husband says right now. They never tell the truth at first and only admit to what you know. I donít want to
Upset you but it was probably not his only infidelity. Suggest a Lie Detector Test to him, my guess he will refuse to take one. If he has told you everything he will be eager to show you he has been truthful.

heartbroken3414 posted 7/15/2020 16:13 PM

Hamilton, I am so sorry. I understand you pain. As others have said:

1. Get STD/STI texting
2.consult a lawyer


Donít believe anything your husband says right now. They never tell the truth at first and only admit to what you know. I donít want to
Upset you but it was probably not his only infidelity. Suggest a Lie Detector Test to him, my guess he will refuse to take one. If he has told you everything he will be eager to show you he has been truthful.

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