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Update to Christmas Eve D-Day

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Bigger posted 8/14/2020 09:00 AM

Tell her “That closet? Well… I have a contractor booked on Monday to change it into a sex-dungeon so no…”
Nah… don’t even go there.
Just make it clear she needs to remove EVERYTHING. First action when she leaves is to gather anything she might have left behind and ship it to her mom or to her new address.

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 10:03 AM

Was thinking about shipping and reversing the charges to WW and her POSOM. That is probably the best solution to get her fully moved out. That way she cannot use it as an excuse to come in and out of my life when I'm full NC on her ass.

I'm so ready to move on from this shitshow!!

siracha posted 8/14/2020 10:21 AM

Hinc

Your playing games with them just infantilizes all of you . Dont. Sounds like you really need to have one adult convo with her where you assert FAIR boundaries like an adult and make her accept them like an adult

thatbpguy posted 8/14/2020 10:53 AM

Tell her “That closet? Well… I have a contractor booked on Monday to change it into a sex-dungeon so no…”

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love it.

siracha posted 8/14/2020 11:06 AM

Its a great exit out of any manipulative convo :)

“Can you xyz for me “
“ No . because i need to talk to a contractor for a quote on a SD “

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 11:27 AM

Siracha, trying not to play games with WW and she will not listen. Talking with a narc is close to impossible. The best way for me to get across is by my actions.

siracha posted 8/14/2020 11:36 AM

if you feel this will give you closure do it ;but seems to me the bill could come back to you though.
May not feel like it right now but trust me you have already won .
Imagine being cured of cancer and then holding a grudge against the surgeon ( or the cancer )

Westway posted 8/14/2020 12:09 PM

Are you planning on staying in the house after the D?

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 12:21 PM

Siracha, I haven't done anything yet in regards to her things that she leaves behind. I've told WW that she needs to get everything out. Definitely will talk with the attorney to see what will need to be done with the things left behind. The last thing that I want to do is pay for the storage on her things.

Edited for name

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 12:22 PM, August 14th (Friday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 12:25 PM

Westway, I'll still be in the house after the D. Its a rental and thinking about moving after DD16 graduates.

rugswept posted 8/14/2020 12:28 PM

There is a very limited time to claim property left behind at a residence that someone is no longer associated with.

In many places, after 30 days, possessions and property left behind is considered abandoned property and can be claimed by the owner of the residence.

Happily, I see, you've only a few more days of this nightmare before it's over permanently. You'll have mixed emotions at first and then a surge of relief, happiness and freedom.

Good Luck in your brand new life.

siracha posted 8/14/2020 12:32 PM

Great idea re lawyer , if you are dealing with a total shit like a remorseless contempt cheater its safer not to poke the bear
Eg if you send her stuff to her Bf against her will she can easily claim the movers or you broke things / stole things etc . Keep yourself legally covered above all else and congrats on being disease free.

fooled13years posted 8/14/2020 12:35 PM


I'm so ready to move on from this shitshow

Tell her that you have moved on and all of her stuff needs to do the same otherwise it is going in the garbage.

Bigger posted 8/14/2020 13:03 PM

I‘m not sure we need to dwell too much on this issue.
You tell her to take everything.
If she leaves anything behind you evaluate the quantity. A couple of old jeans, the lava-lamp that has been in storage for a dozen years… bin it.
If there is quantity or value: Bag it and ask her mom to pick it up. She is and will be your son’s grandmom and to-date has been quite level headed. Tell her the truth – if you dispose of it then it’s an issue. If she does the same then not so much.

Let’s allow this to be a problem if it has to be a problem.
HNC – what are your plans for yourself this weekend? Try to take time off and enjoy life.

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 13:53 PM

HNC – what are your plans for yourself this weekend? Try to take time off and enjoy life.

I'll be working tomorrow, one of our guys retired and this was his Saturday to work. Been taking a lot of Saturdays just to be out of the house and not look at WW. Next weekend though is a different story, I'll be taking myself out for a nice steak dinner and just relax after that. No more WW after 8-22 morning. Also thinking about going up to the local mountains and hike a little bit if the weather agrees.

Tell her that you have moved on and all of her stuff needs to do the same otherwise it is going in the garbage.

Pretty much have moved on from this whole dumpster fire. Still trying to figure out what to do with the things that are left behind. Already let her know if there is anything left it is going to the local thrift store.

Eg if you send her stuff to her Bf against her will she can easily claim the movers or you broke things / stole things etc .

This is what I'm afraid of and pretty much have decided against sending it to her. She is a money-grubbing five letter word and would rather not have her getting any more of my hard earned cash.

thatbpguy posted 8/14/2020 14:07 PM

Pretty much have moved on from this whole dumpster fire. Still trying to figure out what to do with the things that are left behind. Already let her know if there is anything left it is going to the local thrift store.

If you do so, she could take you to small claims. Your very best thing is to ensure it all goes with her.

Second best might be bagging it up and taking it to her parents/siblings... and leave it with them.

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/14/2020 16:16 PM

Second best might be bagging it up and taking it to her parents/siblings... and leave it with them.

Her parents/siblings live in the middle west and that would be a haul to take them. On top of that, I do not get along with her family.

thatbpguy posted 8/14/2020 16:20 PM

That's too bad. Well, whatever you do, their in your custody if she leaves them, so choose wisely.

Sharkman posted 8/15/2020 05:46 AM

Stop worrying about problems that aren’t problems yet. If she leaves something behind then worry about it then. You have so few days left before you are free of this really bad person. Your focus needs to be on awareness — people like her very rarely go silently.

heartbrokeninNC posted 8/15/2020 06:56 AM

Sharkman, absolutely agree that is exactly why I am trying to stay two steps ahead of her at all times. The fog is strong with her right now.

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