SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

ryno posted 2/21/2020 19:55 PM

Crusheddd

Your gf has told you she has a void unfortunately it cannot be filled by you. She was busted this time but it is only a matter of time before she seeks validation from the next OM.

You are young and should not have to spend your time making sure your gf is behaving.

Her having sex is irrelevant to your decision making. Her actions in seeking out OM should be enough to end your relationship.

eehamlet posted 2/21/2020 20:11 PM

Crushed:

This is my very first post here but I have to agree with every other response on this thread. This woman cheated on you. Yes they had sex and if you stay with her this is going to happen again.

She may behave herself for a while but sooner or later (probably sooner) she'll get that itch again. She got away with it once after all.

The next time she'll be far more careful. She will learn from your reactions this time around what works on you and what doesn't and she'll hone those skills so that if she does get caught again she'll be able to play you like a fiddle.

The best advice any of us can give you is to cut your losses and get away ASAP. Be thankful you haven't married this cheater.

You deserve someone better.

Good luck

Smillie posted 2/21/2020 21:05 PM

Don’t flog a dead horse. Spare yourself years of trickle truth and despair. I know it’s hard but just break up now and refresh your life.

KingofNothing posted 2/21/2020 21:15 PM

She, an adult woman in her 30s, visits this man’s domicile, takes her top off, meets him other times... and it was only about kissing. Hmmmm... yeah. And to use my favorite Evil Dead quote: “... and I’m a Chinese Jet Pilot”.

Nothing about this holds water. You are likely a victim of trickle truthing. If you aren’t satisfied with the forensics on this, don’t build a foundation for the future on someone you can’t implicitly trust. A polygraph might be the only way you’lll have a shot at the truth.

Thumos posted 2/22/2020 11:36 AM

I wouldn’t waste money on a polygraph. They cost about $500 and you already know she f*cked and sucked this man. Next her quickly and move on. Let her family and friends know exactly why the engagement was called off. Then ghost her hard.

NoOptTo posted 2/23/2020 07:29 AM

Losing a pregnancy is very traumatic for a female. It took my well over 5 months to just stop crying at a drop of a dime. It took over a year and a half to come out of her depression. Though, did she find validation in another man? NO. We together, through continued talk and physical signs of support like hugs, holding hands, and just other forms of physical contact showed her that we were in this together. (Non sexual contact).

Your GF made conscious choice after choice since her Christmas party to engage with POSOM. Choosing to validate herself rather then her relationship with you. There were mainly opportunities for her to stop what she was doing and choose you. Especially the first night at his apartment where she said that she only went topless. Hate to break this to you, if POSOM was touching her.... its physical. And she was a willing participant in it. As others have said, adults just dont kiss. And your GF continued to choose her own validation over your relationship together til she got caught!

There is a saying, dating, even if long term, is a tryout for marriage. She FAILED. I know you want to try to see if you two can work this out. That decision ultimately is up you. All I can say being older the you and seeing and living life is... once trust is broken and a betrayal is had, the innocence and trust of all out love is shattered forever. There will always be doubt in the back of your mind that she may betray you again.

Though this situation hurts, be thankful this has happened before you proposed to her or better yet, married her.

You do not owe it to her, to help her through her depression. You do not have to be her white knight. She fired you as her significant other the moment she allowed POSOM into her life and she continually went to his apartment.

Please make your decision on your relationship with your GF in your best interest, not hers at this point. She has shown you where her priorities are. You show her yours.