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Thank you

forgettableDad posted 12/1/2019 16:41 PM

We don't celebrate thanksgiving here. And it is my first post. So a bit of a backstory and then a big thanks.

My DDay was around April 2018 and it had nothing to do with another woman. I betrayed my wife in a different way but deeply and badly. While we were separated (although not formally) I started an EA which then moved to PA with a co-worker. I broke it off completely at the start of this year. And out of the blue on Saturday she sends me a message asking me to see if I still have something of hers that she needed (I don't have anything of hers kept for obvious reasons).

It was so tempting to hide the message. To delete, block and ignore the fact that it ever happened. It took all the work I've done with my IC and the many many amazing posters here on SI to help me push against that pattern.

I showed my wife the message. Asked her if she wanted me to answer or block. How she felt and whether she wants to ask me anything else about my A so we could talk it out. We sent a message back together that there's nothing of hers left in our home. Then I blocked the number.

So yes. Thank you. Everyone here, the people I agree with and those I disagree with. I've learnt a lot from lurking and reading all your stories and posts.

Thank you.

Chaos posted 12/2/2019 09:08 AM

Sounds like you've shown a lot of growth and handled that situation very well.

ChanceAtLife35 posted 12/2/2019 14:08 PM

Good job letting her know. Shows your willingness to be honest and forthcoming about details that sometimes can be triggering.

I received a random text a week ago from a random number end I let my BW know right away. It wasn’t from AP or anyone I shouldn’t be talking to, but I wanted to be transparent about what was happening. She was triggered by it but I did everything to ensure I didn’t know who it was nor was i trying to respond. I feel doing things like this is a way to regain trust especially since phones are used to do A damage.

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