Alright, so for reelz, counseling has happened. It was only a 30 minute session and we ran over to 40 minutes, and the psychologist has suggested we go to hour long sessions weekly. Apparently I'm horribly screwed up. Or very interesting, one or the other.
I caught her up on current events,told her the research I'd been doing, and asked her about EMDR. Turns out she is a huge proponent of it, even though I have my misgivings.
Since the STBEW has accused me of being Covert NPD and BPD, I requested screenings or evaluations or whatever I needed to do to determine if that is the case. I want to be able to say, definitively, "I have been cleared of those personality disorders by a licensed psychologist" if she brings it up in a custody hearing or whatever."
I'm noticing that the people my ex has decided to tell that I am abusive are people that don't spend time around me when I'm with my kids. There were three ladies at the barbecue yesterday, al three of them better friends with my ex, but on friendly terms with me. She immediately hustled one of them away (she has just recently been left by her husband) and got a good solid man-hate session going on, which the other lady ate right up. I walked through the room and the tension was palpable; you could almost cut it with a knife.
A bit later, though, the lady came out while I was cooking the burgers and hotdogs for the kids and we chatted, and by the end of the evening, she was mentioning how good I was with my kids, as well as hers and the kids of the other ladies. I even had a few drinks (rum and coke zero) and got maybe a little drunk, but I've always been controlled, and I maintained that record. I was laughing and happy and good natured, while maintaining my zero-superfluous-contact with my ex. I didn't badmouth anyone, and when I talked about the separation, I talked about it exactly honestly; that it was a surprise, I was upset at the circumstances, but agreed that there was no point in attempting to maintain a broken relationship and that all I cared about was my children.
I feel weird right now, like I am both on the edge of cracking and yet calm. I have another counseling appointment for next week, Wednesday the 11th, and we'll see where that takes us.
Fuckin' huzzah.