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Been a long time!

MediumRare posted 7/15/2019 04:56 AM

Wow. I can't believe how many years it's been since I logged into here. I am eternal grateful to all of you that have helped me, tried your best to get me to see the light, but I was too stubborn and gave it my best shot lol.

Needless to say, it's over. 14 years with two affairs ended on #3. I told myself and her "three strikes, yer out" and stuck to it.

I've been single now for a year and it has been quite an eye opener for me. My health instantly improved, my home is so much nicer/cleaner, there is no longer that daily feeling of stress or anything looming in my life... my cat has even changed totally from being a bit reclusive to being at my side 24/7 and more affectionate and happy haha.

I've started dating again and I'm even more surprised. Literally every single woman I've dated I have just stood there shocked from the total change of experience. Respect, courtesy, gratitude, warmth... but most of all appreciation. I think appreciation is the biggest change I wasn't used to. For over 14 years, I never once truly felt appreciated. All my efforts, care and love always felt.. expected or due. I feel like I'm living again but this time not alone.

I also have the energy and stamina now to do things for my community. I was always exhausted, worn down, barely treading water in my relationship. Now I have a new vigor and can help with events, local programs, volunteer work, charity drives and even just simply making friends and helping neighbors.

I think the only negative thing is I keep forgetting I'm 50 lol. I've pulled my back out three times and sprained an ankle so I guess shooting hoop or running with the 20-somethings isn't the best idea at my age!

More importantly, I have no ill will towards my ex. We did share many special moments and we did tackle a lot of things together. I wish the best for her.. truly.

Again, I thank all my brothers and sisters here for helping me keep my sanity in what could clearly be considered an insane situation. I've learned so much here and my life is now focused 100% on me... thanks to the tools and experiences we've shared here together!

WhoTheBleep posted 7/15/2019 05:22 AM

Good for you!

And allow me to say you were incredibly generous with your three strikes and you're out rule. I'm not surprised she tested you.

Congratulations on ridding yourself of a disgusting serial cheater.

Life is pretty amazing once they're gone isn't it?

Onward, friend!

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 5:22 AM, July 15th (Monday)]

Chrysalis123 posted 7/15/2019 06:37 AM

Thanks for the update. Iím happy for you!!

Ripped62 posted 7/15/2019 06:41 AM

Thanks for sharing. I liked hearing about your cat too. I am glad life is progressing well.

Want2BHappyAgain posted 7/15/2019 06:47 AM

SI is a Godsend for me...and I am HAPPY to see it worked out well for you too !!!

EvenKeel posted 7/15/2019 07:09 AM

Thanks for stopping in and sharing. I think these stories are SOOO important on here. I remember being a SI newbie and I would sneak a peak over into the NB forum for proof that there IS light at the end of that tunnel.

Even when you are new and in such darkness....and don't think you will every survive; these stories are a lifeline.

Congrats on your progress MR!!! You can be of great help to folks on here so stop by again!

WornDown posted 7/15/2019 11:37 AM

I've been single now for a year and it has been quite an eye opener for me. My health instantly improved, my home is so much nicer/cleaner, there is no longer that daily feeling of stress or anything looming in my life... my cat has even changed totally from being a bit reclusive to being at my side 24/7 and more affectionate and happy haha.

I had the same experience once I separated from my ex...Really? You mean daily drama and crises aren't an everyday occurrence?

Such a relief mentally, which is why...

I was always exhausted, worn down, barely treading water in my relationship. Now I have a new vigor and can help with events, local programs, volunteer work, charity drives and even just simply making friends and helping neighbors.

I know exactly how you feel/felt.

Glad to hear that you're moving on and finding new meaning in life.

Chili posted 7/15/2019 11:43 AM

Good to *see* you MediumRare. So glad you popped on and gave an update.

2012 was pretty sucky wasn't it? (see my tagline - I was right there with you).

You really sound like you've got such great things going on in your life. As EvenKeel said - it's so comforting for newbies flailing around like we were to see folks move into peaceful and joyful new beginnings far away from infidelity.

Hope you'll pop in from time to time to share your updates!

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