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Finally posting after lurking

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The1stWife posted 6/9/2019 17:16 PM

You held out hope she was better than you thought. She proved she was as bad as you thought.

No contact is your new focus. Permanently.

Pearlyo posted 6/11/2019 07:03 AM

How does everyone honestly deal with NC and communicating about the kids?? I donít see a good way to go about it? I thought about not passing info but afraid it will come back to hurt me in the long run. And Iím not referring to kids feelings being hurt or anything like that. Iím talking about real circumstances regarding school and events where the kids honestly want their mother to be part of? I thought about having the kids reach out but donít want to put them in the middle of it. Seems childish for me to do that.

Gutpunch posted 6/11/2019 07:58 AM

You cannot go no contact when children are involved. However, you can only communicate when it involves the children. Do not engage in any relationship discussions. Always be cheerful and happy even if you have to fake it. Make her think she did you a favor.

The1stWife posted 6/11/2019 08:09 AM

No contact means you only discuss certain topics. Kids. Finances. Schedules. Logistics. Events for kids.

Not alimony. Not division of assets. Let the lawyers handle that.

If she wants to chat / ask ďhow are you?Ē You respond ďFine thanksĒ. You donít ask how she is. You donít ask where she has been.

You are polite in front of kids. Nothing more.

If she says bings to upset you - walk away. Do not respond. Nod your head but no words.

Pearlyo posted 6/11/2019 08:54 AM

OK... that makes much more sense. I guess the answer was a bit more obvious than I made it out to be in my own head. Infidelity seems to bring out the worst with everyone. Thanks for the responses. Posting here does help a lot. Takes the feeling of isolation away.

k8la posted 6/11/2019 10:06 AM

Change the locks or add a deadbolt. That should help with NC as well as fewer triggers.

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