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Newest Member: Ganon27

Just Found Out :
She messaged me today

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 SadEyes0311 (original poster new member #70234) posted at 7:19 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Today I got several messages from my WH’s AP. She is a 23 year old with a toddler. She had created an Instagram account with my last name and put herself as a “cops wife”

This crazy child began to barrage me with messages saying he was working on getting rid of me and that they were trying for kids. I messaged back that I was the one who filed for divorce and he has a vasectomy. She is worthless trash and do not contact me again.

I get home and he is in the yard crying on the phone to her saying he is leaving me for her and please don’t do this. I just looked at him with no emotion at all. He hung up and was yelling at me what did I say to her why did I do that? Was I spiteful or jealous?? He later asked me to message her and tell her it was a lie. I honestly cannot believe how dumb men can be! This child was 8 years old when we started dating!!

And now he is going to marry her?

I honestly am so numb. At this point. This is supposed to be the best week with my nursing graduation and everyday something else happens!

Court Tuesday!

posts: 32   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2019
id 8374824
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 7:42 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

You should have told her that she can have him, but you’re taking half his paycheck and half his retirement...that would make both of their days.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8374827
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bookworm19 ( member #54871) posted at 8:01 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Be strong, don't let them pull into their crazy. Concentrate on the big prize, you are graduating! This is big and important.

You will get through this. Big hug from me

English is not my language, sorry for mistakes and funny words...

posts: 447   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2016   ·   location: Europe
id 8374830
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 8:02 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

OH man, you could have some serious fun with this.

Tell her to get a lot of good spot remover for his underwear.

He sometimes shits himself at work but if you work hard on it those spots almost come out. Bleach helps also.

Geeze, I can't believe you passed up an opportunity like this.

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8374831
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whodidimarry ( member #47546) posted at 10:42 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Oh goodness....unbelievable. Keep your head held high Sadeyes. Eye on the prize..graduation...new life, without that loser.

posts: 239   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2015
id 8374845
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:16 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Keep marching forward. Don’t look back.

Don’t respond to AP again. Ever. She’s his problem not yours.

Tell the CH it’s time for him to leave. Immediately.

If he won’t leave - find a legal way to get him out. Pack his things in bags and leave them somewhere for him. Or tell him to come get his stuff and go live elsewhere.

You need to lose this dead weight of a H ASAP.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14748   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8374852
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Wenda ( new member #65447) posted at 12:01 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

You have said enough to make their relationship implode. Say nothing from now on. Your silence will say everything

posts: 36   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2018
id 8374870
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:02 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

The sooner he's gone the better. He's shown you who and what he is.

Congratulations on your graduation. New beginnings.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8374871
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childofcheater ( member #33887) posted at 12:19 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Good for you Sadeyes! Glad u stuck up for yourself and told her the truth. I'm just sorry they are marring but what she be a joyful proud occasion for you! Congratulations on your graduation! Your SI family is behind u 110% with your future free of this drama and dead weight. (((Sadeyes)))

Me: 42 yo, him 41Married 19 years together 233 kids: DD15, DD12, DS9DDay 2/9/12 found suspicious text to coworkerStatus: in R, work in progress

posts: 583   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011   ·   location: East Coast
id 8374876
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 12:45 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Block her. Gray Rock his sorry ass. March into YOUR future with your head held high.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8374888
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

(((Sadeyes))))

Eyes on the prize. Congrats on your graduation. That's kinda a big deal.

They are devolving into their own swampy mess. Let them.

Block her. If she continues have your attorney send a Cease and Desist letter.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8374895
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Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 1:02 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

This is supposed to be the best week with my nursing graduation and everyday something else happens!

Read the 180 and really start to detach from him. This girl (23 with toddler) sounds like endless drama. The Instagram account, "cops wife", the cheating, the "trying for kids", "getting married"... This relationship is going to implode and you don't want to be anywhere around WH when it does.

You are going to be a Nurse! Your jobs are going to get better and better and so will your lifestyle. You did this while dealing with an Affair! You are amazing! Your new life is going to be amazing! Listen to the song "This is my fight song."

posts: 2807   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2011   ·   location: Washington DC
id 8374900
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realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 1:21 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Wait! She created a fake Instagram account with your last name?

Today I got several messages from my WH’s AP. She is a 23 year old with a toddler. She had created an Instagram account with my last name and put herself as a “cops wife”

Sheesh. The crazy of this one is strong. People who create fake personas and also stalk other people who they are abusing is just crazy making stuff.

Your WS wants to tie himself to this crazy stalker chick with a baby? She is looking for a sugar daddy. I say his Karma Bus is coming right around the corner. BEEP BEEP. Let her have him.

I know that does not take the pain away for you of what has happened and I am sorry it is getting double duty as far as his 23 yr old affair partner now stalking you on social media. Its just crazy stuff.

Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.

He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.

posts: 6939   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2005   ·   location: florida
id 8374904
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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 1:23 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Take a deep breath. You just got a message from a child. Emotionally about 8. If this is what your husband wants then he hasn’t grown up either. Think about it. Instead of cheering you on and being supportive while you study for the most important thing in your life he is off chasing a child. You have so much to give someone who deserves it. Go live the rest of your beautiful life and let him try to get those training wheels off his bike.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4608   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8374905
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rugswept ( member #48084) posted at 1:52 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

this 23 year old OW is very young, has a child and is probably economically desperate. she sees your husband as an established provider who can satisfy security needs for her and her child. she's definitely trying to pry him away and hoping she can get the anchor baby with him.

he sees her as an ego boosting young hottie that he just can't wait to go see and have sex. young, pretty, enthusiastic.

that "vasectomy" update was a mood killer in her little plot. and, your husband has become a lust driven garbage person.

you did awesome... pretty much the 180 out of the box. cool, calm, collected as he tries to reaffirm thing with his little hottie. FFFF him.

like others said, go the full 180 on this starry eyed moron and leave the 23 year old desperate twit alone. she's his problem. she's not going away after this is over. she's got hooks into him and won't let him go no matter what.

prepare for this to be the end of you and this man. if he flips back to sanity, well, you can evaluate that if it happens.

sorry you're here. you're doing incredibly well on dealing with this sobbing self pitying lying cheater.

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 1009   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 8374918
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psychmom ( member #47498) posted at 2:07 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

You do realize that you blew up her fantasy of your WH as some sort of super cool catch, right? Why on earth would you have divorced him and seem to be so over him so soon? Maybe Mr Right isn't such a hot catch after all!

I truly am sorry that your H has created this mess and isn't the man you thought him to be, SadEyes. This is never easy or without pain. But you are going out on a very high note. Rock your graduation, celebrate the work you've put in to get to this point in your career. Sadly he won't be a part of it, but you know in your heart that he was not worthy of you and only would create more heartbreak due to his selfishness and immaturity.

Poor trashy AP now has to deal with his bullshit and see him for the pathetic broken man he is. Seems that illusion of finding someone strong to rescue her isn't turning out so well. But you? You are going to be just fine. You are going to create a solid, healthy, happy life and will draw positive energy your way. You have so much to look forward to. I wish you the very best and congratulations on your nursing graduation!

BS (me); fWH (both 50+; married 20 yr at the time; 2 DD DDay 1- 9/13/2014 (EA)- 3+ yrsDDay 2- 10/24/2014(PA2)-July'14-Sept'14DDay 3- 11/12/2014(PA1)-Oct-Feb '14Reconciled

posts: 4271   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Land of Renewed Peace of Mind
id 8374926
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Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 2:42 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

You are at the brink of a new and better life. But it is like childbirth and you have to get through the pain of labor first. So just breathe and focus and push through it.

Sometimes it actually helps when the WA or the AP does something so stupid as what is happening with you now, as it helps you see who your WS really is as a person. While we are in a functioning marriage (or think we are) we can be blind to some things about our spouse. When you really see who he is, while that is painful it is also a wake-up call that can propel you forward.

posts: 978   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Northern Virginia
id 8374951
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GrayShades ( member #59967) posted at 2:52 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

You mean <gasp>, he LIED to her?!? Poor little muffin.

Me: 50 on Dday
WH: Turned 48 the day before Dday
Dday: 05/16/17 One son, now young adult.

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: CO
id 8374957
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MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 3:28 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Awesome come back to the twit.

I would pop some popcorn and sit back and watch.

LOL Have you thought about changing your last name to your maiden on social media? Really drive it home that she can have him?

BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled

posts: 1226   ·   registered: May. 16th, 2018   ·   location: Georgia
id 8374977
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MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 3:29 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

you should message her and tell her to come get his stuff...if she wants him that bad!

BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled

posts: 1226   ·   registered: May. 16th, 2018   ·   location: Georgia
id 8374981
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