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She messaged me today

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pearlamici posted 5/8/2019 09:34 AM

she's probably upset about the vasectomy cause now she can't step out on him and get pregnant - he'll know it's not his baby.

Lp0725 posted 5/8/2019 09:40 AM

They're both truly pathetic and disgusting people. The sooner you remove him from your home, the better. Are you planning on asking for sole use of the marital home when you go to court on Tuesday? Or are you able to kick him out sooner than that? You shouldn't have to deal with his toxic presence in your home during what should be a celebratory week for you.

Soon enough their "relationship" will crash and burn, and he'll be left with nothing. One day he'll regret destroying his family for this trashy crazy bitch. You, on the other hand, will be happy and thriving in your new career, with your dignity intact. You'll recover in time, and will eventually meet someone who will truly love and respect you. It's sad it had to end this way, but at least now you see who he really is, and you can now move on knowing you are truly better off without this gross excuse for a man. You are handling all of this like a champ!

allusions posted 5/8/2019 09:42 AM

I find it quite humorous that he wants you to lie to her and tell her what you said to her was a lie.

nekonamida posted 5/8/2019 09:48 AM

Wow! She came after you looking for a fight only to realize she's fighting over a human sized POS and the joke's on her!

taken4granted posted 5/8/2019 10:19 AM

All I can say is "You go girl!!!"

I offered to put a bow in ex's hair and told her to get a big uhaul to get his crap. For some reason, she didn't want it that bad. Hah!!! Oh and the AP in my case created 13 facebook accounts to stalk me on. I kept blocking them and then figured, why bother. Let her look and see how happy I am. Best revenge ever is to not care.

CometGirl posted 5/8/2019 10:27 AM

Sounds like she’s upset about the vasectomy. Having his baby would forever tie him to her. She’s looking for someone to take care of her. This will crash and burn. Take care of yourself and girls. He’ll hit rock bottom soon.

MamaDragon posted 5/8/2019 10:45 AM

hopefully you kept the messages - to use in your divorce if needed...


Also, have you thought about screen shots and posting them on your FB and tagging her? (Or any other social media?)

That would really bring everything out in the open.

FYI I am a vindictive person so while I suggest this and would probably do this, don't do it. Unless of course you want to - if he is so happy with her and wants a life w/her, it should matter who knows. right?

ChamomileTea posted 5/8/2019 11:35 AM

I get home and he is in the yard crying on the phone to her saying he is leaving me for her and please don’t do this. I just looked at him with no emotion at all. He hung up and was yelling at me what did I say to her why did I do that?

When he's crying, screaming at you to fix it... that's an indicator that his whole attention will be on getting back with the AP. And because she's 23 and stupid enough to involve herself with a cheating man, she'll let him. IOW, this will most likely be a big, dramatic, dust-up, where these two fetid schmoopies make you the hypotenuse, and then use your involvement to stabilize their house of cards, uniting against a common foe as it were.

I don't think it's wrong that you answered back and that you informed her of the truth, but I seriously doubt that it will be enough to get sense through through the fluff in OW's head. Further involvement though is most often FUEL. It's the energy which strengthens a cheater's resolve and recalcitrance as well as the OW's desire to "win".

((hugs))

Hg65 posted 5/8/2019 11:41 AM

After looking up several words I totally agree with ChamTea.

changeneeded posted 5/8/2019 12:57 PM

Stay strong, girl! You've got this... You are a nurse, you did it! Do NOT let these two, horny, mindless, self-indulgent, losers bring down your hard and rewarding work!

BTW, has much as it would have made me ill, I might have acted a little confused with her information. What? He told me he was not interested in you whatsoever, he spent half the past few days, begging my forgiveness. I told him it would never happen, even offered to bring him and his sh@t to you and the darling little one of yours. Can't stand the guy, by the way, which one are you, 23 or 38? He has a few lovers.

childofcheater posted 5/8/2019 14:03 PM

That is one to get him out of the house! Tell her you've been telling him to leave and he won't youd appreciate it if she'd come get his stuff and let him live with her.

babbu posted 5/8/2019 14:09 PM

Wow. He had the nerve to try to blame you after his lie was uncovered!? Wow!!

Also, geez, this girl is unhinged. Please be careful.

I'm so proud of you for blowing up their little fantasy bubble.

stubbornft posted 5/8/2019 15:01 PM

They are both cruel and gross. I am sorry you have to deal with this. Hang in there.

changeneeded posted 5/8/2019 15:34 PM

I'm also wondering how often she gets a hold of his phone. You said he acted as if nothing ever happened. What if she sends texts from his phone?

He is still living in lala land, more than likely under her spell. I know he wants for you to wait for him until.... whatever happens.

Years ago, I had a friend whose husband did this very thing. He wanted to move both his lover and her into the same home because he couldn't decide. She actually considered it and almost went through with it, poor thing, she was a mess.

I am so sorry you're going through this, looking at a brighter (yet still painful side) You now have your degree, and RN! Oh, the places you can go, the things you can do: You are now in charge of your destiny. If I had to be in your shoes, I would be so thankful for my new opportunity to make my own money.

I just think that is a lucky thing for you. Trust me, once the dust settles he will one day wake up, look in the mirror at himself and wonder what the hell he was thinking. Here he is, raising two more children, her toddler and her included! When I remember being 23..... most of what I thought I knew and how mature I thought I was....

This young woman is not yet ready to settle. Her friends are out partying, having a great time. She is home, being a parent. She needs a savior and she thinks she found one.

This is a new hell for him and he has no idea.

hugs--- you've got this.

HalfTime2017 posted 5/8/2019 16:18 PM

File a restraining order against this crazy child. use the post and show your attorney

TheGuy123 posted 5/8/2019 22:30 PM

The reality is you are getting out of infidelity....you win!!!

The fantasy is OW gets the cheater...she loses!

Play into their fantasy. All the while make a plan and work the plan. While they both relish the false idea of winning....take your old man to the cleaners.

As long as they see rainbows and unicorn your old man won't see the flanking move to get what's yours plus some.

As hard as it is to take the emotion out of this ….you need to look at this as a business deal you want to win at!

Think about it...one phone call to OW, recanting you last statement could get you enough money for a retainer for a D lawyer????
How much is this one phone call worth to your old man?

That's my $0.02

RubixCubed posted 5/8/2019 22:52 PM

I honestly cannot believe how dumb men can be!

Where is the generalization police when the roles are reversed?

OP he definitely sounds like an idiot, but I wouldn't color all men with that broad brush, besides he got you and his AP, so he must be smart enough to fool both of you.

RocketRaccoon posted 5/9/2019 02:42 AM

Stay the course. You are doing well.

spaceimpact posted 5/9/2019 03:52 AM

No Soliciting

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:19 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]

Forks027 posted 5/10/2019 12:57 PM

Ha, now the AP knows she's not gaining some grand prize. It kinda sounds like they both got something knocked loose.

Keep on moving on with your life, Sadeyes. You're no longer part of their sad bubble.

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