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So this is where I am...

Justsomeguy posted 4/5/2019 10:17 AM

Well, today is my birthday. I'm 52 years old, partially homeless for two weeks a month while we get the house ready for sale. We are nesting so the kids stay in the family home. Bills are so tight I've had to take a second job as a janitor. Haven't told my kids about that. Wanted to go out for a birthday supper with my kids tonight, but I just don't have the cash. Down to my last 40 bucks and that has to go to gas for next week. Feels pretty shitty being here at this stage of my life. Ok,i know it will get better, but it just doesn't feel that way right now...

Furious1 posted 4/5/2019 10:39 AM

I am sorry that you are struggling. I keep reminding myself that all of this is hard, but that regaining my freedom and my future from my STBXHole makes all of the struggle worth it. I can't imagine nesting, but IHS was bad enough while I was going through that. I hope you find a way to make birthday memories with your kids.


BobPar posted 4/5/2019 11:14 AM

Happy Birthday Justsomeguy!
Life in upheaval. I'm sorry you have to deal with the tight finances and loss of freedom. It is very hard.

EvenKeel posted 4/5/2019 12:06 PM

Is this a short-term situation? IE until the house sales? Sometimes it is easier to mentally cope when you break it down by timeline.

Also, how old are your children? My mom worked two-three jobs on top of running her own business when my father cleaned out the checking account and skipped town. Picking up another job is nothing to be ashamed of. You are teaching/showing your children that no matter what happens, you find a path and keep onward.
So unless your children are really small, I would share what is going on.

Also, regarding your bday. FIND cheap ways to celebrate. Your celebration doesn't have to be a family dinner out. It can be a picnic on your living room floor (or outside if the weather is cooperating in your area). It can be a free event in your area. It can be a marathon movie night in your living room. It can be taking the kids for a hike. It can be buying a $2.00 box cake mix and making it as a family. Don't let your current circumstance.

We were very poor the first time my father left (yep....that is right....he screwed her over twice). But I never knew it then. My mom was the master of making fun no matter what we did at any age.

Happy birthday!

Phoenix1 posted 4/5/2019 14:02 PM

I agree with Even. If the kids are older, tell them what's going on. I was working 2-3 part-time jobs on top of my full time job at the time of D because of Xhole's financial shenanigans. My kids (older) respected that, and learned that when things get tough you dig deep inside to deal with it in productive ways rather than sit on a couch and wallow about how unfair life is (which it most certainly is at times).

I will also ditto finding cheap/free ways to celebrate your birthday. Be creative! It is creating new memories with your kids and doesn't have to be fancy. That memory of making it special is what counts.

Hang in there though. It will get better even if it may not seem like it now.


[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 2:03 PM, April 5th (Friday)]

WhoTheBleep posted 4/6/2019 08:48 AM

Justsomeguy, Happy Birthday!

You are doing what needs to be done to get through this D shit show. And you're doing it with class, character, and integrity. Hold your head high. These troubled times will pass. (((JSG)))

Justsomeguy posted 4/6/2019 08:48 AM

Thanks all.

ErinHa posted 4/6/2019 14:37 PM

Happy birthday!

Yes, doesn't it suck that at a point in our lives when we want to start feeling secure this shitshow takes us for a ride?!

Just wanted to say I hear you and your kids don't some cards, spend some time, cook some spaghetti or get a little cake and have some fun.

Take some pictures with your kiddos, time is the most precious gift.

Sorry about everything, you have a positive outlook will get better friend!

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