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lizgwvet posted 3/18/2019 11:01 AM

I am so sick of the nightmares involving XWH, it's been 3 and 1/2 years since the divorce.
Seems like I am dreaming about some sort of scenario with him almost every night. Usually the dream is about realizing he has left me.
I am a combat veteran with PTSD, this trauma of infidelity has been the worst thing I have experienced.
I have been in IC for the last couple of years, any suggestions?

EvenKeel posted 3/18/2019 11:24 AM

I am sorry you are dealing with this!

I know when I dream of my ex, it feels so real. Fortunately, it is rarely anymore.

Has you tried sleep music? I have been listening to sleep hypnosis on YouTube - just to put me to sleep. But I noticed they have different versions for anxiety, etc. I would definitely give it a whirl.

lizgwvet posted 3/18/2019 13:59 PM

Thanks Even,
I will try that!

RockstarDad posted 3/18/2019 19:53 PM

My IC talked about dreams being out a way our subconscious is able to let things out. The fact that you are able to have these dreams and remember them means that your subconscious believes that you are strong enough to handle them. I would do a couple sessions with a psychologist and do some dream interpretation. It is actually pretty cool stuff.

I would take it as a sign of strength even though I appreciate it likely feels like the opposite.

For example I had a nightmare that my ex came and walked into my house. Our homes are usually representative of our lives. I was afraid of her coming back into my life. Obviously there is more too it as every detail in your dream you put there and is representative of something. But it allowed me to talk about that fear and move past it. Its some way out there stuff but cool amd resulted in progress. Wish I had more nightmares to talk about now, lol.

Embrace the suck!

lizgwvet posted 3/18/2019 20:41 PM

Thanks Rock Star, that is a positive way to think about my dreams.

ibonnie posted 3/19/2019 07:16 AM

I feel you, except my nightmares are pretty vague, but once I analyze them, I see the connections. I had one recently that involved me driving ans getting hit out of nowhere by two separate cars (WS & AP?).

Last night was a horrific one involving drugs, rape and newborns being abused in the hospital by their parents (we had an infant when my WS started his A).

No advice, just commiserating. Infidelity fucking sucks.

Candyman66 posted 3/24/2019 16:08 PM

I THINK this is legal where you are, I would recommend marijuana. I have been using it for years to control my PTSD symptoms. I think that Indica is the type that relaxes you and helps you sleep. I.C. should also be considered.

The smoke will help with the symptoms and the I.C. should help you learn how to not need the smoke.


TrustedHer posted 3/24/2019 17:38 PM

I know some people who've had good results from EMDR for their non-combat PTSD.

Best of luck to you, and thank you for your service.

ErinHa posted 3/25/2019 14:47 PM

I'm so sorry you are suffering ligzwvet.

Some of my friends have used medial marijuana for depression, stress and anxiety and it's helped with their sleep.

Maybe something to look into?


Cheatee posted 3/26/2019 13:09 PM


I'm so sorry. I know the feeling.

My nightmares were (and still are on occasion), more symbolic, but still obviously related to infidelity trauma - that my house was crumbling off its foundations and falling down the hill it overlooks. That my car and my belonging were breaking and disintegrating while I used them. That everything in my life is falling apart.

Subtle, huh?

I try to very concertedly count my blessings, especially to not be connected to a person who was not safe as a partner. That helps a bit.

But mostly, just time...

Does your therapist specialize in PTSD and/or infidelity? Most are surprisingly clueless...

Tortured posted 3/28/2019 12:58 PM

I suffer from night terrors. This is ongoing since around the month of dday onwards. But I have no recollection of the nightmare that apparently occurs. It took months for a diagnosis which came just over one year after dday. I had a overnight sleep study done.

Itís been over three years now. Itís PTSD.

Last weekend I had my first session to start EDMR therapy. Iím hoping that it will change my situation.

I will try to post back to this thread updates to let you know if treatment is successful.

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