SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The purpose of this thread is to let the newly betrayed know that the physical , emotional, and mental trauma they are going through is NORMAL .

Many BS's are suicidal or have suicidal tendencies after finding out.

If you are considering suicide please contact your local emergency services or call 1-800-273-TALK

The physical symptoms of the A that I had when I found out.

1) Lots of crying

2) Insomnia

3) Throwing up

4)Loss of appetite

5) Weight loss

6)inability to concentrate

etc

Palpitations, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, inability to think of anything not related to the affair or our past together during the affair.

I lost a ton of weight (like 50 lbs). Forgetfulness, depression, and poor sleep. I wanted my heart to just stop beating. The stupid jerk kept going. I would sit there and stare and listen to my heart beat. There are lots more but those leap to mind.

Loss of appetite, I lost 45 pounds in 3 months. Insomnia, vomiting, anxiety, forgetting a lot. I also attempted suicide. Went into impatient care for 2 weeks.

Weight loss

Insomnia

Couldn’t function

Wanted to die

Easily agitated

Heart palpitations

No sleep (lucky if I got 45 minutes a night) - lasted 3-4 months

Can’t eat

Lost weight

Crying constantly

Depression

Anxiety- no medication

Shakiness - my hands shook constantly

Anxiety

Depression

Loss of appetite

Weight loss - I lost about 20 pounds in 2 weeks.

Unable to focus/concentrate

Heart palpitations

Constantly crying

Panic attacks

Inability to sleep

Felt absolutely worthless, which made it difficult to feel motivated to do anything.

Stress induced gastritis (I had to be put on medication for this.)

I agree with most of the above

I have also focused my energy on completing my final semester of nursing school (BSN).

I have been going to the gym every day.

Trying to eat what I can--but I have lost 15lbs in 3 1/2 weeks.

I felt a need to talk to my family and friends, reached out for support from the. Also, contacted my doctor for an Rx for Klonopin to manage panic attacks.

Lastly, I will start seeing a therapist (IC and group)

Before I was cheated on myself, one of the many misconception I had about A's were that the BS should be able to heal from an A in a month or less.

I was shocked at the level and intensity of my pain and the physical symptoms that I had over the A.

I actually thought that I had went crazy because of my inability to "get over it".

Hugs to all those going through this nightmare.

Thanks for starting this thread Dorothy123 .

The shaking was the worst. I couldn't get my body to stop shaking . Every time I found out something new the shaking would intensify. That lasted until the Anger phase...at about 6 months after DDay.

Insomnia

Loss of concentration

Weight loss

Forgetfulness

Suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to end the pain .

Anger. No...RAGE

Nightmares

Warts...I counted up to 18 before they started subsiding...all on my hands. Today I have none.

Broken teeth from grinding them in my sleep. My dentist told me that stress will cause this.

TODAY...almost all of these symptoms are gone for ME. PLEASE KNOW that the pain WILL subside...and life CAN be GOOD again. Just hang on for one more minute...then it will be an hour...then a day will pass...and a month...and soon it will be a YEAR. Then you will see that you have SURVIVED infidelity .

suicidal

Extreme love / bonding

Extreme hatred

Wanting to excise revenge on AP

paranoia

Physical triggers / phone / unanounsed trips to xyz

tremors

Sleeplessness

No trust for anyone

blurred vision

Nausea

Lack of apetite

Lack of sex drive

Lack of wanting to have sex or look at opposite side

Hate for men that meet AP characteristics

Hate for Social media responsible to Ea

Over protective of family

Hypevigilance

Over stepping on toes of anyone who was responsible

lack of concentration

Irrability towards many people

Harrasing anyone who came too close to my home

Carrying weapon around the home

Loss of faith on humanity in general

Loss of faith on relationships in general

Loneliness

Inability to share / talk with anyone

Use of anxiety / depression meds (never needed before Dday)

Loss of pride

Feeling demasculated

Feeling betrayed (possibly 2 or more times)

Inability to find anything concrete

Waiting to this day for another emotional ambush

Feeling unappreciated even after making concessions to change

Contemplating Divorce

Contemplating still today to destroy Ap's by exposure or any means necessary.

Over use of Meds

Over use of Alcohol

Over exercising to prepare for possible confrontation.

Feeling humiliated (during pick me dance stage)

Forcing SO to use tracking App

Checking SO's phone regularly

Checking So's old phone for hidden apps etc..

Exposing everything to everyone

Ground on reconciliation won and lost via good and bad actions on my part

And finally telling SO one more thing and fuck all this; you are on your own.

Sorry to sound so despondent but this is what I've felt now for almost 2 years. Not a good time in my life AT ALL

Lots of uncontrollable crying.

Insomnia

Loss of appetite

Headaches

Weight loss (40 lbs in 2 months)

Shivers/shaking for about a month

Anxiety & paranoia

Hair loss

Skin condition - like little blisters that would scab over - not shingles though. It was weird.

In the early days:

Insomnia

Panic attacks

Weight loss

Inability to eat

Shaking

Later on:

Autoimmune issues

Anxiety - months

Depression - months

Sick to stomach - weeks

Felt like rage was burning, electric and physically coursing through my veins - weeks

Insomnia - weeks

Noise in my head - weeks

Inability to focus - weeks

Inability to function - days

Google nervous breakdown - I always thought it was kind of a joke for weak, neurotic people. But I was there for about four days.

Reduced decision-making capacity (when an unrelated life changing decision was already in front of me)

Unplanned weight loss (had purposefully lost weight while WH was having his affair - rapid weight loss occured after DDay)

Oh yeah - PTSD and a tremor in my right arm

Loosing weight, no sleep, crazy, vicious mood swings (love her to hate her within minutes), obsession over details, drinking to excess (never a good idea), very much the same as others.

These were really bad for 3-6 months. After 6 months, life seemed to start to get normal, then another dday!! Right back to day one.

heart palpitations, huge thumping pounding pulse

pain in my chest

sweating

blanching, chills, shivers

clenched teeth, fractured crown

headaches, sore tight body

sobbing,-- wracking sobs I could not stop for hours

bloodshot eyes, bags under my eyes

rage, destroying things, hitting him

profound, bleak depression

exhaustion

suicidal thoughts including mulling over methods

nausea, dry heaves

diarrhea

insomnia

nightmares, vivid daytime nightmares

inability to think straight

inability to concentrate or stay on task (even menial tasks)

dissociation, blanking out

forgetfulness

fixation

Dorothy123:

Before I was cheated on myself, one of the many misconception I had about A's were that the BS should be able to heal from an A in a month or less.

I was shocked at the level and intensity of my pain and the physical symptoms that I had over the A.

I actually thought that I had went crazy because of my inability to "get over it".

Hugs to all those going through this nightmare.

This. So much this.

Especially since Husband's infidelity was a one time thing long ago and relatively mild as infidelities go- in most ways. In some ways it was heinous. Kind of an unusual situation.

Initial disclosure at the time was a mostly truthful (basics confessed, many details omitted) "Just the Facts" disclosure, followed many years later by an almost accidental additional disclosure about 8 months ago. I was relentless and ran it to ground. Many more details came out that revealed the essence of the thing, which morphed it into something far different than I thought it was for years.

I put myself in therapy.

I thought that since Husband's infidelity was "one time" and "really no big deal" that I'd be over it in weeks... maybe in a couple of months at most. I remember thinking that I'd certainly be over it by the holidays.

The therapist, who heard the whole sordid story (as I had it to that time, we trickle truth'd for months) tried to gently talk me off of the optimism ledge. Even though the act was relatively minor, he thought that it happened at all, especially in its context, was a big deal indeed. He looked at me during a couple of different sessions and said, "You are being so calm and so matter of fact. You do realize that most wives would be howling right now, don't you?"

Me: *blink blink blink*

I've been thinking about putting myself back into IC, for my own benefit, to deal with this damage, and for help and guidance in conveying to Husband the exact damage and the extent of it. Husband should probably be in IC too, but I won't force it. (There have been no repeat incidents.)

But yeah, what Dorothy123 said.

My biggest symptoms are hamster brain and insomnia, often together. Also malaise; I often feel like I'm wading through molasses. Also, I thought I was crazy, too. I dubbed myself "Bat Shit Crazy." This self-applied moniker shows up often in my posts. I know I'm not crazy but it feels like it sometimes. It's exhausting and I hate it. I like the calm, cool, collected version of myself.

Duplicate post

[This message edited by marriageredux959 at 9:39 PM, February 25th (Monday)]

Duplicate post.

[This message edited by marriageredux959 at 9:42 PM, February 25th (Monday)]