I just found out this past Thursday about activities I had no idea my husband was engaged in.
First he had an old iphone he was keeping in his truck. I had thought that was very weird at the time. But 4 months later I was cleaning out his truck and brought a bunch of stuff in. I didn't realize the phone was in a bag I had brought in until like days later. He works out of town quite a bit. Well, he asked me before leaving did you see a phone when you were cleaning? I said no why did you lose your phone. He said no it's just a work phone.
Well days later I had seen that bag I set aside. I seen his phone. Curiousity got to me and I turned it on. I guess to reminence over pictures etc. Well, I seen this screen shot from an adult friend finder website with a user name and e-mail typed in it.It isn't his e-mail address. Well amd this iphone is showing he did this when he went out of town that day by the date. This phone isn't with service but Wi-Fi is on and it's tracking photos,phone calls and his regular e-mail is logged in.
I search further he made another account 4 months prior when he was out of town at this same site.
So I am fuming but don't say anything. Now I am watching! I go for almost 2 weeks without saying anything until.....
He left out of town for work. He called me when he got there. Then again before he was going to bed.( typically does this) He gets up at 4 am for work. Well, the next day I see where he dialed a family member at 12:57 am. But before that dialed a specific number twice and assigned her as a contact. So I messaged him if all was okay because family member asked if all was okay. Pretending like I don't know. He says yes fine.He had woke up from a deep sleep in a sweat and got up to get a drink of water. He must have pocket dialed.
Well, I decided to go to his hotel the very next morning and pretend a surprise visit. I was going to spy through the entire room. I didn't find any evidence at all. He acts surprised I am there and happy. We go to dinner he wants to make love. Meanwhile I am seething!
I waited until he was asleep and accessed his real phone. I wanted that password to e-mail. Well, it worked. He had created the dating site saying he was seeking Tranny women in the town he is staying. He created a new facebook account and was becoming friends with Asian women in scanty clothes. But he hadn't even fully activated the account. On dating site no messages were sent, received etc. No evidence of hook ups. No actual contact with anyone on facebook, no profile picture etc. Then also I seen on old phone where he downloaded 3 other tranny sites but deleted them. I got into those also. No chats or messages at all.
So I couldn't hold back I confronted him. He told me he went out drinking that night and a girl had gave him her number. That he messed up big and he was sorry. That nothing sexual happened.
On the e-mail, dating sites, facebook he is literally mortified I know this. I asked him if he was gay or bisexual. He said no. He said he was ashamed and never told anyone that part of himself. But it's a fetish looking at tranny women.
I told him what he did was cheating! He said he had never hooked up for sex at all. Never did anything sexual with anyone else at all. I asked if there was anything else he needed to confess he said no. He said he loved me and would do counseling etc. What ever it took. I told him I don't know what I want through years.
Well, yesterday I am analyzing this phone with everything I have. By the way it's not tracking anymore but signed into his regular e-mail. I see from the past a couple addresses to a happy ending massage parlors. Then upon advice from a PI said see if he created a user name on rubmaps. Which lists where these parlors are etc.Sure enough there he is with a user name!!
I came unglued. I can't stop crying. Can't sleep. Can't eat. I feel shattered. It's like everything came down on me at once.
He is remorseful. Pleading to do anything. Is digusted with himself. He claims he went to the.parlors but only got a massage. No happy ending. He swears upon the life of everyone we know and love he has never had any sexual contact with anyone.
I asked if he would take a lie detector test he said yes.
I am falling apart literally. Sorry this is so long. Just so much has happened. I don't even know where my emotions are. I loved this man for 11 years. Never ever would I have guessed he would destroy me.