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WS struggling to break contact with Om

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firenze posted 2/11/2019 18:01 PM

Onwards, your wife is not the first person to have miscarriages. She's not the first person to have PPD. She bore and still bears the responsibility to deal with these difficult circumstances in a manner that is both ethical and responsible. An affair is not acceptable method of coping and "struggling" to go NC with her AP is not acceptable either. Her vows to you are not and never have been negotiable.

What astounds me is the extent to which you're willing to absolve her of responsibility for her decisions.

[This message edited by firenze at 6:01 PM, February 11th (Monday)]

LMYE posted 2/11/2019 18:04 PM

You never said how long the OM has been in the picture as her confidant.

Buster123 posted 2/12/2019 02:46 AM

So you're afraid she's going to kill herself if she stops seeing/talking to her AP ? I hate to break it to you but if you don't stop being her doormat and keep allowing this you're in for a rude awakening, your WW is in distress because you want her to stop talking to her boyfriend ?
Really !!!, you can't fix her, if she's really suicidal then she needs to be sent to a psychiatric ward until she can cope with the new reality. Get tested for STDs and talk to a lawyer ASAP.

Lalagirl posted 2/12/2019 06:05 AM

is is it normal for the WS to struggle to let go of communications with the Op

Normal? Yes. Acceptable? NO.

I'm sorry that your WW suffers from mental illness, I truly am. I agree with the poster who suggested bringing her parents into this to help when you lay down the line. This does not necessarily mean D, but if you don't provide boundaries (no more OP), she won't stop.

I don't know the backstory, but saw that a poster mentioned that the OP was (is?) her therapist. If this is the case, he must be reported (even if he is no longer her therapist) - that is a HUGE violation of the code of ethics in the medical profession and I guarantee you that he's done this to his female patients in the past, and he will continue to do so to his female patients.

I don't condone taking your child away from her, but if you do decide to separate, supervised visitation may be necessary until your WW gets the professional help and/or meds that she needs to get well. If your WW is willing to get intensive IC, and go NC with OP, your M may have a chance, but it has none while she's behaving as she is now.

Or, you can stay with her and let her have contact with OP...that's up to you - we're just strangers on the internet. But I promise if you take this route, your soul will be destroyed and you may end up with mental health issues yourself. I'm sure that you don't want that for your baby as the baby needs you more than ever right now.

Sending strength...

edited for typo

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 6:06 AM, February 12th (Tuesday)]

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