Thank you all.
He checked in with me today while I was at work at his office, getting orders sent out.
Then later today he makes sure to text me he loves me (first time pretty much since he left) and thanking me for searching for and scanning pictures.
Turns out DS texted him that mom was crying on the drive to school.
I can't entirely wrap my mind around this being a loss. I've had family members treat me in the way his dad has treated him and I set boundaries. When those boundaries are broken, I cut ties. I of course don't tell MrH this, but I see a man who put all his focus on the rest of his family and alternated between neglect and abuse of his only child.
MrH asked me once after the accident what I would do if my dad was like that. I told him my father and I discussed it and he wants DNR. I'm not heartless. I am close to my dad- the closest of his four biological kids. My dad was also an alcoholic and abusive. The difference is, sometime around my 11th/12th grade year he sought out sobriety and has been working the program ever since. I think he's on his 30th yr this fall. Like FIL, his mother died. He didn't use it as an excuse to drink more. He also suffered the loss of his wife in a car accident. He nearly went back to drinking, but didn't. He has acknowledged the pain he caused in my life and we've built a close relationship.
MrH's dad though, cut us off when we got married in '94 with a drunken tirade about how I was marrying MrH for FILs money. He's not rich...just rich to him. believe me, if that was the case this is the worst and most heart-breaking long con I could've pulled. Look at what I've dealt with in this M...
I'm sorry, I just need to get things out. I no longer have anyone to talk to. I think I need to find another therapist. Mine thought I was doing well enough to stop seeing her but I guess I'm not.
FIL created savings accounts for each of his 10+ siblings. We don't know how much is in there, but they will get it eventually when probate (or whatever happens when there's not a will) is over. He did nothing for his only child. The son that has been shouldering the primary burden of his extended health issues due to his drunken choices.
He hated when MrH joined the military. When he married me (I'm a different race). When we moved away from their little hometown. Actually, when it comes to the ILs, all the choices they don't like are on my shoulders...whether I had a part in them or not. I've been attacked for my faith, for not raising the kids with more of their culture...one that I've been told I can't participate in because of being white. I've been threatened, ostracized, and belittled. Even after 25yrs of M, some refuse to call me by name. Instead I am "Mrs. (His first name)".
When we S in '97 due to MrH's refusal to get MC, FIL was the one that encouraged him to leave me and never look back. Because "how dare that b!tch tell you what to do."