Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 10:17 PM on Thursday, July 30th, 2026
I told my father. It wasn't something I had any desire to do, and it also wasn't something my BH asked me to do. The moment arrived where Dad needed to know so that my BH could move forward in his healing, and I went over and faced the music unasked. That's what remorse looks like.
A few months after we separated, my ex-wife told our son what she had done. He was about 10yo at the time. We had a talked about it for a bit. He understood, as well as he could.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 10:25 PM on Thursday, July 30th, 2026
IMO they need the to be told the truth and it needs to come from their mom WITH you next to her in case she tries to sugarcoat the truth or alter it to protect herself. And if she leaves anything out, you fill in the gaps. The kids need to know their father isn't a monster.
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:17 AM on Friday, July 31st, 2026
I had an event in my journey that was qualitatively similar to this, where I uncovered that my wife had hid something major from me that involved my daughter (her POSOM had been DM’ing our 15 yo daughter). She failed to disclose this to me, and even more she destroyed the evidence and failed to render help to my daughter when it was clear that communication was inappropriate. It resulted in our first separation. It remains one of the biggest things that fuels disdain of her in me. She chose herself over her child.
I would not down play this. She allowed misinformation to linger that benefitted her and harmed you and the children. This is a BFD (big deal), in my very strong opinion.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
