Oh my Gemmy,
I am so very sorry. I could talk at length about each of your point. They are all so very valid. But, rather than talk at length....the sum of the matter is this...
SHE IS NOT YET BROKEN.
Will she ever be? Hard to say. But all those points you make clearly communicate to us who are awakened, that she does not get it in her heart. Sure, she is now exposed and in essence cornered. But her heart appears to not yet have been changed.
She is not a good candidate for reconciliation at this point.
To be a good candidate for reconciliation, she needs to see the experience from your point of view and agree with it in truth. That is crucial.
Then, in that position, she need to do actions CONSISTENTLY OVER TIME, to prove she is a new and safe partner.
You may not be one who espouses religion, but just to know my vantagepoint, I look at things through that lense. And in cases like this (knowing the pervasive and all encompassing nature of her betrayal) I can see why Jesus does permit divorce. He is all for reconciliation, but permits divorce for situations where the damage is possibly just too much to overcome....or in situations where the betrayal is ongoing.
That said, all things are possible with God. I pray God wisdom and grace for you Gemmy.
