SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So she decided to try to cause problems and come between us again by messaging me after finding me on Facebook. She never said anything about WH, nothing like what i would expect, but she got a rather harsh response from me.

She sent me a bizarre message calling me a "child" being angry because of a "friendship" (erm no, funny definition of friendship an emotional affair and sexting)

Definately a woman scorned now WH has cut her off, more than likely because WH sent her a message we typed together (after ive read advice in reconcile on here) cutting her off and telling her i know. She also replied to him which he showed me saying "ok". He then blocked her on all platforms and whatsapp and removed as a contact.

Im just shocked at the blatant audacity of this woman. Im still so angry about it. But this is the type of woman she is and who i warned WH about weeks ago!!! Likes drama, narcissistic, attention seeking and now scorned. She is just disgusting trash. WH said to ignore and block on everything.

End of the day I shouldnt even be in this position.

Its early days of trying to reconcile and rebuild here, having really bad days and okish. WH is genuinely making an effort and really trying, getting counselling also about his childhood and his type of personality and is truly remorseful. I do love him but its going to be hard work for me. However at the moment taking one day at a time .

Edited to also add: one positive also is shes now gone from the workplace after a disciplinary which im grateful of,via a member of the public reporting her, and it appears she has done this before at previous

Sorry i just needed to rant.

[This message edited by Bluefairy at 6:00 AM, Thursday, September 11th]

So sorry that you're dealing with this. You're right - you should not be in this position. WS don't think about the consequences. So selfish.

I know, hes had so much grief off me the last few weeks, they really dont. or the bigger implications

The other day ive been into our local town where she lives, and being anxious about seeing her. Not because im scared of her but because I dont want to see her its so triggering.

[This message edited by Bluefairy at 5:57 AM, Thursday, September 11th]

Rant away!, you have every right to be absolutely furious.

She’s trying to manipulate you, downplaying their actions as friendship so you feel like you are overreacting. What a POS she is.

You did right to stand your ground, your H backed you up which is good.

Bad days and good days are perfectly normal, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I think some wifes (myself included) warn their husbands about certain women because deep down we know their personalities, unconsciously their personalities make us feel unsafe so we warn for reassurance. You are on the right track if you’re going to counselling.

Your H is right block on everything, if she manages to contact you in any way then don’t even reply, don’t waste your breath.

Take care of yourself and keep posting.

Thank you so much. Your absolutely spot on in what you have said 👌

I really appreciate this forum xx

Why wasn't she already blocked on all platforms, social media, messaging apps, etc?

Seeing as how they still work together and in the same group, how does he maintain NC?

Can't quote replies

Because she used another account which is easily done. Obviously ive now blocked that too. Ive also changed my name on social media so not as easily found. I forgot to add too that shes now left the place of work and gone elsewhere after a disciplinary .

Ive also since found out that shes done this twice before at previous jobs,chasing men in relationships and causing drama.

Unluckily for me my husband was a target this time, and unfortunately made a choice to engage with her and cause the mess

[This message edited by Bluefairy at 5:22 PM, Wednesday, September 10th]

Once again: How does he enforce NC at work seeing they work together in the same team?
Are you certain that the message he’s giving you is the same as he’s given OW?

I would normally not suggest this but it’s worth a shot:
Have you considered phoning your husband’s direct superior and making him/her aware of the situation?
Seeing as how they are on the same level then there is nothing wrong with them having an affair as far as business is concerned. It’s only an issue if one participant is higher in the direct hierarchy, but WH and OW are in comparable level roles. Therefore contacting the boss shouldn’t impact their jobs per se.

However – a call to the boss where you – as the wife – simply tell him that OW and your husband were sending inappropriate messages and that your husband had asked her to stop and now she’s sending YOU messages. That you know that she has a history of hitting on married coworkers. That this is going to directly impact work moral and possible productivity. That based on her history then once she stops hitting on your husband, it’s likely she will hit on another married coworker...

See what that can lead to.
I know that as a manager then if I got a call like that I would (after consideration) call the woman to an informal chat where I would go over the complaint. I wouldn’t put too much weight into it and allow her a lot of doubt. But I would ask her to be careful and keep all contact with team-members job-related, and to not contact spouses. I would then hope this problem simply went away.
If it didn’t – if I got another complaint or heard through the office grapevine that now she and Jack (married to Jill, three kids and a dog) are a rumored item – she would definitely be on the short-list for cut-backs due to cost savings...

Bigger if you could please read my last reply and note that she has now left the workplace where my husband is at. So no, hes not seeing her at all or has any contact with her at all in any way shape or form.

I was with him when he sent the cut off message to her and saw her reply.

Also in relation to your other comments, in our situation a manager there is my husbands close friend and is aware of what has gone on, because my husband has confided in him, aswell as telling him what an idiot hes been, in his professional role changed shifts so she wasn't there at the same time and helped that way, however she has gone now and its all confirmed.

[This message edited by Bluefairy at 12:49 PM, Thursday, September 11th]

To be fair: Your reccently edited last reply

Good - she's out of the picture.

It was last edited Wednesday not today but thanks :)