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Thank you all for the advice. Last few messages he sent were that he couldn’t come home yet as he’s needs to sort his head out. But then said he would come spend the night tonight so we could talk.

The last message I sent him was telling him not to contact me and to pay maintenance so the children don’t suffer anymore than they already have.

I can’t believe what a selfish nasty person he has changed into. The lies are unbelievable and how he twists everything that I say. He still really thinks he’s the prize! A comment which he said was "if I ended up back home or stay with OW it’s a win win for me"

I’ve now blocked his number and removed him from social media so he can’t contact me. The only way would be by contacting our eldest adult child.

I know 100% deep down we are better off without. I know what I need to do and just cut him off be seem to be finding it hard

Nrtd- I’m sending you love and strength

A comment which he said was "if I ended up back home or stay with OW it’s a win win for me"

BTDT. My H had the same crappy attitude during his affair. I swear he morphed into someone (or something) else during his affair. He walked around like he was the King and I should be grateful for any attention or effort he made towards me or our marriage.

And stupidly the first 3 months I played along thinking this behavior was going to end and we would start to reconcile.

I remember as I started to pull away he would make just enough effort to reel me back in. And that worked for awhile too.

Dday2 was the turning point for me. That when my "I don’t give a damn" meter went off the chart when I found he had been cheating the whole time I thought we were reconciling.

And to this day he is now afraid I will D him.

In your case no contact is your only option right now. As long as hrs still lying and cheating you have no Hope of reconciling and you have Almost nothing to work with to build a foundation on. It’s good that you can see through his lies and false promises.

It’s probably one of the worst things I’ve ever been through all of this. I’m suffering really bad with anxiety since the weekend. I’ve just contacted my doctor to see what I can take or what they suggest just to get rid of these physical symptoms.

I don’t know why he’s putting me through all of this at all. I feel as though I’m crawling at the moment bruised and broken. I’m hoping by this time next year I will be in a better place.

It’s not easy because of the children too

Please follow through with your dr. Your body is under attack from the stress. There are temp meds to help you through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Stupidly spoke to him and he seems to think he should come down Friday to Sunday to stay and see how we get on. I’ve told him no thank you

I’m hoping my new SIM card comes tomorrow

Stupidly spoke to him and he seems to think he should come down Friday to Sunday to stay and see how we get on. I’ve told him no thank you

Excellent response.
Change the locks.
Expose him.
This is war.

He’s trying to keep you as his plan B.

Good for you for seeing through his scheme.

And does he really think the OW-GF is going to be ok with this? He can just go back and spend the weekend either way his wife & kids? Geez he really is stupid.

As you can tell there is no guarantee he would actually show up OR he’s got something else up his sleeve and you would be victimized by him again.

It may be as simple as he wants to live with you & kids but continue to cheat.

Whatever it is, I’m sorry your anxiety is through the roof. I physically shook (my entire body) for the first 3 months after Dday. I was a wreck just like you.

But once you are no longer in contact with him, it will start to get better. Not saying you won’t be anxious or upset, but removing yourself from having to listen to the lies and nonsense from the cheater definitely helps.

I’m certain he is saying it just so he can come see the kids at home as he’s nowhere to take them. Further messages he sent were "he missed home" followed with " I need to come home what I’m doing isn’t right" but he had previously responded when I’d asked him about coming home " I told you I have no choice do I"

I’m pretty certain it’s because it’s getting closer the the weekend. I’ve not had any contact t with him today and will keep it that way.

Doctor has also prescribed some anxiety tablets and said if needed can try something else if it doesn’t help

Legally he can’t enter my property any more that’s one thing sorted.

This is from your post on 1st Oct.
So coming home isn’t his only option as he implies with " I told you I have no choice do I"
It’s more of a question if YOU allow him home. YOU have the legal ability to refuse him entry – according to what you posted on the 1st of Oct.

Missmee – See my tagline? It’s totally YOUR call if you decide to let him back into your home or if you call it a day. Personally, I think it could be best for both of you if he staid somewhere else while things cool down and a decision to reconcile OR separate can be built on more than inflamed emotions.