SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey friends -

Thanks for the support and input.

G5 is away for work for a few days, so I have a break during the week, currently. I honestly can’t decide if that makes it better or worse because there is that delay in being able to resolve things. OTOH, it’s giving me time to reflect and be thoughtful about how I’m going to bring up certain topics that I’m feeling really angry or otherwise emotional about in a constructive manner.

This thread is definitely the anti-FB reel of our relationship, meaning I’m here bitching about all the bad and not sharing the good. There is actually a lot of good about our relationship and G5, but these particular topics (family relationships/forgoceness) and the recent "breakup" have really done some damage that needs to be addressed by a bigger conversation than a few minutes before he leaves for work saying he’s sorry and I’m the one for him.

I do try to be cognizant of the sunk cost fallacy. G5 has a degree in finance, so I’ve heard about it! lol I think he is also very aware and invested in not staying together at all costs if it isn’t working.

IDK.

I have some issues to bring up, clearly.

I’ll keep you posted. I really appreciate everyone’s honest feedback. I want to be accountable for things I need to improve upon as well.
Breathing deeply.

I will be ok no matter what.

Non- ipdate -

Yesterday we were talking on the phone and somehow it came up that I needed to talk to him about some things. I told him I’ve been struggling since our argument, but that I really don’t want to talk about over the phone because important conversations should be face to face. His first comment was,"Why, so you can tell me to leave?".

I’m really starting to feel like he’s projecting his own wishes on me, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Idk.

Anyway I said no, I’m not planning to ask him to leave. Things were weird between us today. He will be home tomorrow.

I decided I’m going to open the conversation by telling him how depressed I’ve been since that day and that I’m nearing the point of needing to do something about it (therapy, meds…SOMETHING).

I don’t know if tomorrow will be the time to bring up any of the items that have been bothering me. I feel like my thoughts have been all over the place.

Anyway - please send good vibes my way.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Just seeing this. He certainly didn't react with anything like empathy when you tried to share your feelings, did he. He was more about defending himself from anything he doesn't want to hear.

That’s a really good point, Superesse…

Finally caught up on the latest! How's your weekend going, nekorb?

Hope you're able to get some answers. Even if they aren't the ones you want to hear. Limbo is hard. ((nekorb))

Hey everyone!

Well, it was a rough start but is improving.

Cliff notes version:
1. I told him how I was feeling depressed, etc., which led to him feeling guilty, angry, "Well what about the time you..", and so on.
2. There was a lot of tension and crying (me - that’s just how I am!)
3. He ultimately agreed to go to couples counseling (I did not persuade or beg, just said I thought we needed it)
4. In the spirit of compromise I suggested we do our own research and give it a shot on our own first - he agreed (he is not a "believer" in counseling)
5. He was first to send an article on conflict resolution/steps to take, etc.
6. We both have apologized for invalidating feelings
7. Before he left for work today (he will be gone a few days) he came to me and said "Let’s end things on a good note" and proceeded to cite something I do for him that he finds so extremely thoughtful and nice and expressed that he really appreciates it. States that he wants to be here, he does not want to leave, values me, and so on.
8. I also provided positive feedback about something he does for me

I think it went as well as could be expected. I don’t think anyone (myself included) enjoys hearing criticism or things they need to improve about themselves, and we both need to work on delivery.

Overall, positive interaction.

Growth HURTS!!