crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:33 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2024
It's amazing that the gift that keeps on giving just keeps on giving 
luckily I am in a good mental space and my xWS is no longer of any concern to me. It's just interesting how the info keeps trickling in.
I met up with my girlfriend who was a friend of the M, but we had stopped communicating after my False R with xWS and we re-connected last year. We just went to lunch over the weekend and she let me know of an incident that happened in 2003 when I was pregnant with my firstborn. Turns out it was the girl at the golf course he was working with and he used to have sex with her in the cart barn (he used to be a golf instructor). How lovely 
All this does is just confirm, again, who and what he is. How I wish I would have left a long time ago. My M never had a chance, he was doing this from go. One thing I have a hard time reconciling is the amount of time I wasted in the M. I am thankful for my kids, I would honestly do it again to have them. Maybe that's all he was good for was being a sperm donor.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:47 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2024
Un freaking believable! Not! ...just reading what a horrible husband your WH was.
I wonder why your friend didn't tell you back in 2003.
Don't beat yourself up for staying, you did what was right for you and your children at the time.
Now live your best life without the 200 lb baggage. 
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:52 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2024
As the years went by, I continued to find new 'treasures' as well. I took them all as validation of the path I was on (even though it is sucky too).
BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 9:18 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2024
Despite the obvious validation, I am sure this is still painful. Bug hug.
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 4:53 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024
Thank you for your responses I wasn't sure if General or S/D was right place for this.
I'm definitely living my best life without the 200 lb baggage and it does validate my D. While it stung just a little bit it mostly just confirms who and what he is. I just find it so unbelievable how diabolical his behavior was. Like how could I have not seen what a sociopath he was. I was young at the time we met, I was 22 years old and fresh out of a physically abusive relationship. Guess I was a prime target for a narcissist.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 4:54 PM, Thursday, July 11th]
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
NoThanksForTheMemories ( member #83278) posted at 5:37 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024
Like how could I have not seen what a sociopath he was. I was young at the time we met, I was 22 years old and fresh out of a physically abusive relationship. Guess I was a prime target for a narcissist.
It's so easy to blame ourselves for missing the early red flags, but people who are capable of secure attachment are wired to trust their partners. This speaks to the healthiness of your mind. It's not your fault that you couldn't see through his facade to his sickness.
I'm glad the new info is validating your choice to leave him!
WH had a 3 yr EA+PA. Dday1 Nov '22. Dday4 Sep '23. 30 years together. Staying for the teenager. Allowing space for R without commitment.
