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Newest Member: Daughterofthemosthigh

New Beginnings :
Motivation for another beginning

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 Perdita1 (original poster member #67654) posted at 10:25 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2024

I wish I could post a nice happy update but some days I just feel like this relationship thing is nothing but additional stress.

D was finalised in 2021. Over the past couple of years I’ve dated on and off. I would say there have been three significant men that I’ve come across in that time:

1) A guy I met fairly quickly after I started dating. Talked loads, saw him off and on and it was enjoyable for a while. Over recent months though it all began to sour. Had a huge disagreement and he didn’t talk to me for over a month so I assumed we were done. Then he contacted me again. I was probably too polite and we fell back to talking. Then he was pushing me to see him and I was really not happy with our disagreement / the way he gave me the silent treatment so I ended it. Then he contacted me again. Again I’m polite, again we’re chatting, again he wants to see me, again I just can’t bring myself to do that.

2) A really sweet, understanding guy. He’s so respectful of my life commitments. But unfortunately, no chemistry. So I make it clear dating is off the table. He’s lovely about it and we stay in infrequent contact. But recently he’s been implying he’d like to date me. I wish I liked him like that. But I don’t, so as much as I want to chat to him I’m limiting contact.

3) A guy that I had chemistry with - hurrah! He cancelled our first date before it happened as his ex came back into his life. I appreciated him being upfront and not starting to see me in that situation. Then a few months later he contacted me. The ex was in the past and he wanted to take me out. We go out a few times and it was great. I was actually excited for once! But then he goes quiet. Uh-oh. A few weeks later I get the message - he’s decided to go back to his ex. Can’t fault him for telling me, but still a disappointment.

In amongst all this, I’m juggling children, my ex, work, family… Sometimes I’m so damn tired. Other times I have the opportunity to see people and I just cannot bring myself to leave the house. How can I motivate myself again?

posts: 195   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2018
id 8836916
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 1:46 AM on Saturday, May 18th, 2024

Why? Right now dating doesn't seem to he what you need. Don't you think you're already juggling enough! Why not use your free time, when you have it, to just decompress and do relaxing things that you enjoy. What DO you enjoy that is relaxing?
Find your peace. When you find your peace, it will send off that energy into the universe and you may be surprised what the universe sends you back.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6099   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 8836928
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 Perdita1 (original poster member #67654) posted at 9:31 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2024

You make a good point - why? I do have a lot on, and most of the time I’m running around and it’s fine. It’s when I have some time to myself that I get down. Maybe it’s because it is in those quiet times that I have to face…loneliness maybe?

I am seeing my therapist next week after a bit of a break. I think I need it.

posts: 195   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2018
id 8838963
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