It really is just that simple...however it isn't right? Every WS is by definition a liar, then add the the cowardly flight response of the human "fight or flight" nature which makes you want to lie more to avoid the consequences of your actions and you find yourself lying to your BS again, and again, and again.
Only 100% truth about your transgressions will give you a chance at reconciliation, and even still you must go into it with the knowledge and acceptance even that might not be enough.
I did not do this...I continued to lie, gaslight, minimize, deflect and deny my spose the dignity of truth and making her own decisions because I did not want to face the possible outcome...which I know have anyway.
You cannot lie your way out of this...you did this. So now that you are a WS, the most important question you can ask yourself is how are you going to face the consequences of your actions and accept the reality of your actions? And I don't mean the "reality" you want, but your betrayed spouses reality.
So how do you do it? How do you face that reality from the starting position as a liar, cheat, and cowardly person to start with?
Hoping that the answers to this question, and my complete failure, can give brand new WS's a reality check to get on the right path immediately and ever look back on their cheating, lying former ways. For me it is too late, except to maybe learn how to accept the reality I have created.
Fight or flight? Fight - which means fight yourself and your every bad instinct that got you into this position, and fight for your spouse with the truth.
All comments are welcome.