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Newest Member: cobblerock

Divorce/Separation :
First mediation session done

Topic is Sleeping.
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 kiwilee (original poster member #10426) posted at 2:00 AM on Sunday, July 9th, 2023

Ok one down. It was only an hour because soon to be Ex had another appt.

Our most difficult 2 items will be house and amount of maintanence. Everything else will not be bad I believe. No child custody issues as we have adult children (well one is almost).

We dove right into the house and both stated we want it. It is a huge emotional pull since we built it 18 years ago and this is where the kids will be drawn to. Especially for our senior in HS, she REALLY wants to stay in the house. He makes significantly more than me and had a plan drawn up about how he could afford the house and to buy me out. He wants to cut me out of his life and keep everything else exactly the same!! Even if it is not the best financial move for me, the value of me having the house is my biggest (and only) thing I will go to trial for.

The most obvious and best thing to do would be to sell but we both think it is best to keep our senior in the home for one more year.

I am going to consult with my attorney as to what best strategies I can use to secure the home. How can I prove that it is best for me to stay in the house and that I can afford it (which I don't even know if I can). I have endured over a year of IHS and him remaining in the master bedroom because he is an entitled ass. I am done. I want to move on with my life.

Anyway on a better note, I asked her afterwards if we seemed like we could get to settlement and she said yes. You have 2 hard issues to work through. If he gets the house, he will be much more agreeable about all other items. If I get the house, every other item will be a battle. The house is his most important item as well. The mediator is top notch and VERY reputable in town.

[This message edited by kiwilee at 5:56 AM, Sunday, July 9th]

posts: 663   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2006
id 8798753
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:26 AM on Sunday, July 9th, 2023

Glad it's over. I hope your next meeting is produtive. Sorry he's being a d-bag.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8798761
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:19 AM on Monday, July 10th, 2023

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1675   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8798834
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FunHouseMirror ( member #80992) posted at 3:39 AM on Monday, July 10th, 2023

I think you need to take a very realistic view of the house issue. If you're not sure you can afford it, you probably can't. Especially when you consider all the hidden costs a house carries with it. You don't want to be house poor and wondering every month if this will be the month you can't swing it.

If I were in your shoes, I might consider dragging this out for another year so that your oldest graduates, and then either insisting on selling so that neither of you gets the house, OR using it as leverage for more money and other considerations.

Good luck with the mediation!

posts: 248   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2022
id 8798841
Topic is Sleeping.
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