brainybird66 (original poster new member #83082) posted at 1:00 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023
Hi, it's been a little while since I last posted and I wanted to update everyone on how I'm doing.
As the title of my post says, although it's just short of 3 months since D-Day(or Shatterday as I sometimes refer to it), I am proud to say my healing continues to progress. It has truly helped that I have remained faithful to zero contact. I have purged my living space of everything of his, and I now no longer feel his energy. I have gotten used to my new routines and continue to practice daily meditation and self-affirmations(if you haven't delved into this, it's a little strange at first, but with daily repetition it really makes a difference.)
I can't say I don't think about him anymore, or at times feel low,I still do, but I don't have those mind movies I had in the very beginning.
One thing I haven't done yet, is write a goodbye letter. I feel like I am ready to do that now.
I am going to post this now on the "Stay no contact, post here" thread, so feel free to read this.(And yes, as the thread states, this letter is for my eyes, and the site members' eyes only.)
I'm well on my way to true healing
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:14 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023
Glad you're doing beer, BB. Meditation and self-affirmations have been so helpful to me, too. In fact,I have one posted on my fridge: Self-love is not selfish.
One of the things I did in IC was work through The Grief Recovery workbook. It ends with doing a goodbye letter. One thing I suggest is you read the letter out loud. There was such a difference in how I felt after reading the letter out loud to my therapist was so much more than just reading it silently.
And give yourself grace because it's still early in the process. It's ok to not be ok.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 2:37 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023
Thanks for the update, it takes time, 3 months is still early and healing can be 2 steps forward, one step back.
[This message edited by Tanner at 2:41 AM, Wednesday, May 24th]
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
FunHouseMirror ( member #80992) posted at 6:45 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023
I am so glad you are not giving him your energy or sending him anything to expand his ego. As a professional psychic, I am constantly telling people not to give their energy to their exes. It really does make a difference, and they really do feel it and feed off of t.
You are doing amazingly well. Do not feel defeated if at some times you feel you're going backwards. It is often (but not always) part of the process. I feel your strength, and I am inspired by it.
Devon99uk ( member #82658) posted at 8:36 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2023
I am sending you so much love & support, what a strong strong person you are 🙌❤️❤️