SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello, my husband cheated before in 2008 with a coworker and started living like a bachelor. My story is in my profile. He never admitted to this but there was some evidence like phone calls, text, MySpace messages.
At the time I had 2 babies and not much help. Coparenting with him was a nightmare so it was easier to give it another chance.
Now it’s years later he works somewhere else but he has a new coworker that he trained or is training I’m not even sure and they became close it seems.
Well I took a look at his phone since I have access and I check it from time to time and I see a message they Snapchat a lot at work. He claims it’s all work stuff to make things easier. When I asked him questions he told me this woman is lesbian and is married to a woman. I think he said this to mislead me into thinking nothing could be going on. but I found out she has very young kids so she’s probably bisexual.

I told him how I feel. He denies anything inappropriate. He’s the problem in this marriage he seems to find himself with coworkers getting extra close cheating eventually. I’m tired of this I don’t want to see what’s next for me and him. I really want this done to be at peace. My kids are older so coparenting should t be as big Of a nightmare as it was before.
I’m not sure how to get a divorce while living in the same home. He doesn’t want to leave and has nowhere to go I guess. I’m not leaving and my 3 kids shouldn’t have to move around.
I’m also not sure how he will react to divorce papers. How did your spouse react? We’re you living in the same home? Any advice or input greatly appreciated. Thank you.

In most locations, you don't need to state a reason to get a divorce. You are perfectly justified to simply say "I don't want to be married to this person any longer" and that's enough.

I would recommend that you see a lawyer in your location and get a basic understanding of how a divorce will go for you. Many lawyers offer free consultations.

My ex-wife verbally agreed to have a fast, easy, inexpensive divorce so that we could keep our children out of harm's way.

She then proceeded (with the help of an attorney) to sling every piece of mud that she could invent against me in an attempt to get more child support, alimony, and more of our marital possessions. It was nasty and expensive and extremely hurtful to our children. I say this because I was completely shocked that she did this... even in hindsight, the person that I divorced is nothing like the person that I married (even the version that cheated on me).

My point being... you don't know how they will react to you filing for divorce. This is why you need to get a lawyer to protect your interests. If you get a lawyer and he's cooperative, then you will still be fine.

The first step is to go to a divorce lawyer. In many states, if you leave the marital home it can be considered abandonment. So, as hard as it is, stay put unless a lawyer tells you otherwise. You may need to live through an in-house separation while the paperwork starts. But step #1 is to see a lawyer.

I'm sorry you're here. You will be okay and there is life on the other side.