SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He can lie to himself and to everybody for that matter but I believe that one day he will realize what he really did……

Sending you strength!

Regarding the friends who enabled him to have this affair, you may have to face the reality that they are no longer your true friends.

I can tell you as a person with morals I never would have allowed a married man to bring his GF or OW to my home or a social event I was attending.

I have a friend who was married to a serial cheater. Multiple OW and it was a mess. I can tell you that when she learned of the truth she dumped all those "friends" and his cousin-workers who enabled this. It turned out everyone knew he was a chronic serial cheater except her true friends and her family.

So sorry for you.

Yes, absolutely right, they were not true friends.

Just so so sad right now

Christmas is so painful

It feels like OW stole my life
Stole my husband and kids and sealed the deal by making sure they have their own kid on the way

[This message edited by JammyWheel at 8:37 PM, Thursday, December 22nd]

The OW didn’t steal. She CHOSE a guy who was not only a cheater and liar but she’s parading around like she’s in a fairytale.

Well guess who is going to be in your shoes someday? Yup the OW.

Their chance of a successful happy relationship is slim. Their foundation of their "romance" started out as lies.

Then they are adding in a child. To an already fragile relationship. Yes their relationship is "new and exciting" but your H doesn’t need to add a baby to this situation.

He’s going to bail as soon as it’s no longer "fun". When the burden of responsibility makes his life "miserable" in his opinion. And then he will be moving on.

Leaving another child and family in the same situation you are in.

So sit back and wait. The OW will soon be in your shoes. No sympathy or empathy required for her. In fact, she should expect it.

I’ve seen this play out too many times. Sadly the affair doesn’t morph into a relationship or marriage that is sustainable.

Jammy, I read your post few days ago. I didn't reply because I just couldn’t think of anything smart to write. Thankfully, there are other people here to provide meaningful support. I don’t know why, but something about your story touched me and I truly wish I could take your pain away. You are in my thoughts; I check your thread every day. I will be thinking about you, I hope you will keep posting, and one day I will see you writing "I’m happy". This is stupid, I know. Allow me more stupidity and let me be the first one here to tell you: Congratulations, Jammy! Congratulations on your different life, as you put it. I don’t like changes, but we have to admit there are times when "different" really is the best. This is one of such times. Make it count, Jammy! (((hugs)))

Thank you
I will read both again and again

hannah what a lovely message

First wife
I literally logged on to write a question that I found you had already answered
"What if THEY get their happy ever after?"

Sounds like they… won’t…

But our home life was stressful

We had a kid with additional needs

Then he left me while pregnant and I have raised that child to school age - she is sweet and charming

So with their baby life for them will be sweet

Our kids might visit whatever he is able to negotiate

But their life will be simpler than ours ever was

She has a big extended family who all want to be hands on

(I didn’t)

And that will make it easy for them

I hope first wife is right though!

Letting go will mean that you no longer care if his life is great or if it's total shit. The opposite of love isn't hate.. it's indifference. The work ahead isn't to come to terms with his "happily ever after". It's to not care what he's doing or who he's doing it with. From observing others who have been where you are, the key appears to be creating a full life with new people, new activities, and celebrating whenever you can.

You'll get there. Have faith in how truly wonderful you are.

Thanks Camo

"creating a full life with new people, new activities, and celebrating whenever you can"

It’s hard with my childcare responsibilities
But I was getting there

Then his baby news FLOORED me

For 2023 this is what I need to do

Merry Christmas, JammyWheel!

Thanks
You too

Leaving soon to collect one of the kids

Have got through what was a difficult day

Thank goodness

Wishing you moments of peace today.

Thanks
Finally at peace
Early evening and will soon put little one to end and get an early night myself!