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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Divorce/Separation :
Blocked on Facebook, a good thing

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 LonelyHolidays (original poster member #79775) posted at 4:21 AM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

I haven’t posted lately but am finally moving from the house I shared with my ex. I’m moving in a few days to the state my sons are living. My two sons live out of state. One is 21 and in college. The other is 16 and in high school. Our divorce was hard for our younger son and he currently lives with my parents and I am finally moving to be with him. He wanted to start the school year there and so it’s been a few months.I’ve been working on moving forward. I have weak moments but generally feel better. I did make the mistake of looking at my still STBXW’s Facebook page. I did see something that bummed me out but I asked for it. It was a post from this past June. She posted over fifty pictures of herself and her new guy who was the AP. The fact that June seemed to be an anniversary bothered me since I spent all of last year trying to fix rings and hanging out while she said we weren’t working but denying seeing anyone. The really hurtful part is she posted how much she loved him and stuff but felt the need to say she’s never met anyone who even compared to him. She has said things like that before and no single person has been so loving etc. it frustrates me since we still have many mutual friend and family and she goes out of her way to essentially advertise how little I meant. I texted her I read it and she blocked me. For the best. Prior to blocking me though Mr neck tattoo she’s seeing liked a bunch of old pictures I took of her years before. He did it to antagonize me. She admitted later she didn’t agree with he doing that. I know we shouldn’t text and don’t much but do about the house and kids and if something bugs me I tell her sometimes. Anyway I’m glad I’m getting away and am so ready to be happy with my sons and start fresh. Thanks for listening

Tired of her games. BH. Married 20 years. 2 sons 16 and 20. Going through divorce since September, 2021.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Santa Rosa
id 8765207
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asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 4:54 AM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

Good luck in the new town. Block all of her social media from your end. If you have any remaining mutual friends who still hang with her because they didn’t want to "take sides" now would be a great time to quietly drop them too.

Make this a fresh start.

I make edits, words is hard

posts: 477   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8765208
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:05 AM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

You pain shopped and learned a lesson. It happens. Sounds like you are moving forward. Best of luck!!

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 6:31 PM, Saturday, November 26th]

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5103   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8765210
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 1:37 AM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

She has said things like that before and no single person has been so loving etc. it frustrates me since we still have many mutual friend and family and she goes out of her way to essentially advertise how little I meant.

This is impression management. She is doing this because she needs to justify what she did to herself and to everyone in her family and social circle.

She has to portray her relationship with OM as a love story for the ages; the alternative is to admit that cheated on a good man with a total scumbag.

I know we shouldn’t text and don’t much but do about the house and kids and if something bugs me I tell her sometimes


Stop doing this. You should only be in contact when it’s essential. You keep reaching out to her in the hopes of some kind of comfort and validation, but as you now know she doesn’t care. All it does is feed her ego.

No contact = no new hurts

BW, age 40
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried to a great guy

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 953   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8765893
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 LonelyHolidays (original poster member #79775) posted at 2:53 PM on Monday, November 21st, 2022

Thanks everyone. I’m moved away now and things are great! I just got here but am making plans with friends and family and feel very positive. I appreciate the advice!

Tired of her games. BH. Married 20 years. 2 sons 16 and 20. Going through divorce since September, 2021.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Santa Rosa
id 8766148
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FindingaWayHome ( new member #78829) posted at 6:58 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

Hi LH, I hope you had a great thanksgiving with your boys.
What are you doing to enable a fresh start?
FAWH

posts: 3   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2021
id 8766657
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 LonelyHolidays (original poster member #79775) posted at 7:16 AM on Saturday, November 26th, 2022

Thanks FAWH. I’ve been here a few days in town with the boys. It’s still strange spending holidays without their mom, but we had Thanksgiving with my parents and played a board game and hung out and have had a good time. I’m just trying to look forward and hope to make new memories rather than hold onto old traditions and things. It does take effort especially at the holidays since last Thanksgiving she hadn’t admitted to her affair and still had Thanksgiving with us while lying. It’s not always fun but I appreciate my relationship with my boys and we will continue on this path. It’s great to be in town with them.

Tired of her games. BH. Married 20 years. 2 sons 16 and 20. Going through divorce since September, 2021.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Santa Rosa
id 8766769
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 3:23 AM on Sunday, November 27th, 2022

My boys are thankful that I'm close by and willing to be part of their lives, and my grandson's lives. So glad you're there and able to be an active participant in their lives.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1494   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8766858
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 LonelyHolidays (original poster member #79775) posted at 12:50 PM on Monday, November 28th, 2022

Thanks Leafields! That’s awesome! Family is so important to me and the relationship with them and my extended family is really my focus now.

Tired of her games. BH. Married 20 years. 2 sons 16 and 20. Going through divorce since September, 2021.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Santa Rosa
id 8767003
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